She Doesn't Like Me (Because I Call Her Friends Sluts)

-- I don't why, but I just find the word "slut" funny. --

"She Doesn't Like Me (Because I Call Her Friends Sluts)"

She doesn't like me
Like I care
Like I care

Like I even fucking care
That she doesn't like me

You know why she doesn't like me?
Two reasons

One--I'm a slut
Two--I call her friends sluts

Does that make any sense?

It's like she's saying she likes cotton
But not clouds

Candy
But not sugar

Oysters
But not clams

It's all the same damn thing

And I don't say I'm not a slut
I do everything they say I do
Because if they're gonna say it
And believe it
I might as well damn do it

Otherwise you have the reputation
But not the fun
And what's the fucking point in that?

Her friends, on the other hand
Say they're saints in heels
And then they sneak boys in their kitchens
When they think their neighbors are asleep

Let me tell you something

I walk all my men right through the front door
In broad daylight
On a Sunday

That's how much I fucking care
What people think

Let 'em look at what I'm getting

People are going to feel two ways about you in this world:

They're gonna think you're not a threat
Or they're gonna be jealous of you

Well, I'd rather be envied then pitied
I'll tell you that fuckin' much

And anybody who wants to be pitied
Should go have their head checked

SHE should go have her head checked

She doesn't like me
Because I say things
About her girls and her boys
And her business

And let me tell you something

If she didn't look at me
Like I just dragged myself
Up out of the gutter
And like I was smelling it up
Every time I showed up somewhere
I wouldn't say shit

But since she gives me those looks
I exercise my right to live in a free country
Where I can have a big mouth
And a big ass
And a big man next to me
Whenever I want

And there ain't shit she can do about it

I'll say what I want
And I'll smile when I say it
And if she doesn't like it
It's probably because
She doesn't have a reason to smile

Because the only thing worse
Than being a slut

(And believe me, because I know)

The only thing worse
Than being a slut
Is being friends with sluts
And not getting any yourself

It's like standing at a window
Watching a party
And having everybody inside
Wave to you

I guess I'd be a bitch too
If I were here
Standing at that window
Watching the world go by