A Dull Morning in New Zealand

The thing about the sheep is
They judge you

They disdain you, they do
The fucking sheep
They have disdain
For you

You understand?

Don't trust those fucking sheep
They'll snap your neck
Without thinking twice about it
Or they would
If they had hands

I was watching them the other day
After I found out Claude got murdered
And I thought--

You know, those sheep
Would fucking murder me
They would

I think most people would murder you
Given the chance
I'd murder almost everybody I know

My boss
My sister
My wife

Ho ho ho, my wife
I'd murder her a few times
If I thought I could

The only difference between a murderer
And a non-murderer
Is a small slice of sanity
That, at any point
Can get eaten up by life's hardships
Just like a piece of cake
Or a turnip
Or something

They'll never find Claude, you know
Not a chance

I mean, they found his arm
But the rest of him
Is long gone

That's what happens
When you put up a fence
Between yourself and your neighbors

All fences end
In brutal homicide

I bet the police won't even investigate
They say they are
But I bet they're just going through the motions
And what they're really thinking is--

Fucker shouldn't have gotten a fence

Should have left well enough alone

Me?

I don't have a fence

And my neighbor and I get along just fine

But me and the sheep?

That's a different story

Sheep's one of those things
You can't do anything about

If they kill you, they kill you
But then at least, people feel bad for you
Not like with that stupid fucker Claude

At least you're missed

What a quiet morning

Isn't it quiet?

Nice to live in a place so calm

Where all you have to worry about
Is the sheep

That's still a lot to worry about
But at least it's just one thing

Just a few hundred sheep
To keep an eye on