Not Helpful

I realize what you're saying
And I recognize that it's true
What you're saying is truthful
It's full of truth
It's true

BUT

It's not helpful

Now, I--believe me
I--am very sad
Very, very, sad

That we have reached a point
Where hearing the truth
Is no longer helpful to us
Where the truth itself
Is no longer helpful
But the fact is
At some point
I'm going to have to go to corporate

I'm going to have to
Go to them
And tell them
Something helpful
And the truth, in this case
Is not going to help

It's not going to help them
It's not going to help the company
It's certainly not going to help me
So we need to set aside the truth
And come up with something else
That can help explain
Why we're in
The situation we're in

Now, we don't need to lie
We don't want to lie
We just want to come up with something
That is related to
Or pertains to
Or resembles
The truth
But is not actually the truth

Because the truth
At this juncture
Is a little hard to swallow
And swallowing
In this industry
Is very important

We want whatever we

--And by we I mean 'I'--

--Give corporate

To go down
Really smooth

And the truth is spiky right now
It's spiky and it has harsh edges
And it tastes like--

Well, it tastes bad

So let's come up with something
That's truth-ish
But not really the truth
But isn't a lie
But is a productive, effective solution
To a problem
That we're not really admitting
We have

Got it?

Great

So...

Any ideas?