The Man You Couldn't Be

He's got the hands you don't have
The eyes, the lips
The thighs, the surprises
That I didn't find
In you

He's got the thoughts
Those thoughtful thoughts
That remind you what that is
What thoughtful is
And considerate is
And sensitive is
And kindess is

Kindness is his indiscriminate smile
Given freely and without condition
And when he smiles at me
All I can see
Unfortunately or fortunately
Is the man you couldn't be

The man I looked for, longed for
Waited for?

Oh sure

But a man that never showed up
Never fully realized
Achieved, or believed
In himself
Or in us

A man that remained a mystery
To me, the next one over in the bed
The guy all wrapped up in his head
The bad news bear
Who wouldn't hibernate
And held all his cards
Until it was too late
For me to hit the gate

Yeah, I took the bait
And now fishing leaves me wishing
I was somewhere else
Alone
Figuring shit out on my own

My shit, my problems, my issues
Not having to worry about buying an extra box of tissues
For the extra shit
Someone else is bringing in
At a certain point I started doubting
My ability to win
At this uncertain game

But now I look
And I see

A man so good
I can't even love him yet
'Cause I don't know how

But when I figure it out
I will, because I don't wanna ever look in a mirror and see
The other side of the blame
Staring right back at me

The reflection of the man
You and I
Couldn't be