Kate Winslet Plans for Her EGOT

Listen, it doesn't need to be a fantastic play
Nobody's looking for a fantastic play
Mildred Pierce wasn't a fantastic mini-series
It was just a mini-series
With a fantastic role in it
For me

Do you see what I'm getting at here?
Do you get where I'm going?
Do you have a cigarette?
I'm fucking dying here

Do you mind if I smoke?
Swear?
Drink?
Fuck?
Fuck you
Get me a smoke
I have three out of the five I need
For an EGOT
And everybody knows
The Tony is the easiest one to get
So what the fuck is the problem?

I'm ready
I'm there
Let's do this
Let's get me this Tony
So they can add me to the list
With Liza and fucking Joel Grey

Hitchcock didn't have shit when he died
But Joel Grey had an EGOT
How's that for cruel?

So what are we thinking?

A classic role?

Maybe Shakespeare?
Maybe Chekhov?

Or a new role?

Get someone good
To write a play around me

Kushner
I could do a new Kushner
He barely ever writes roles

I could have him make me a lesbian meth addict
With, like, cerebral palsy
That'd win me a Tony, right?

Fuck, that would probably win me
Six Tony's

Then we could make it into a movie
Then I could win another Oscar

This is working out so well!

Just make sure the play doesn't run too long
I don't want to be stuck on Broadway
When I have movies to make

Let's open the day Tony consideration closes
And close the day after I win the award

Oh, and I don't want to perform Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Sundays
So make sure that doesn't happen, all right?

Lovely

Well, I have to say

I am really looking forward
To giving one more acceptance speech