(NICOLAS CAGE, WILBUR AND ORVILLE WRIGHT are sitting in the lobby of a movie theater after just having seen the latest NICOLAS CAGE movie.)
WILBUR: ...That was...
ORVILLE: Were you dead for the entire movie? Is that what that was?
NICOLAS: I don't know, man. I think something got screwed up in the editing.
WILBUR: ...I...Wow.
ORVILLE: Was that supposed to be your girlfriend or your daughter?
NICOLAS: I sure hope it wasn't my daughter considering I scooped that chick in the back of my limo at the People's Choice Awards.
(He laughs and puts up his hand for a high five, but the WRIGHT BROTHERS just look at him, confused.)
NICOLAS: Oh right, you guys weren't around for high fives.
WILBUR: No, we know what a high five is. We just don't want to touch you.
NICOLAS: Will it disrupt the space/time continuum?
WILBUR: ...Yeah, let's go with that.
ORVILLE: Why did you make us go see that?
NICOLAS: I played..................
(He looks at them as if they're supposed to guess what he's about to say. They don't.)
NICOLAS: ................A PILOT IN IT!
WILBUR and ORVILLE: ....Ohhhh...
NICOLAS: Right? Sooo? Huh? I was going to give you guys some pointers.
ORVILLE: On what?
NICOLAS: Flight.
WILBUR: Flight?
ORVILLE: Oh boy.
NICOLAS: Yeah. YEAH! FLIGHT! I have so many ideas.
ORVILLE: Shouldn't you be giving us advice on something you actually know about, like--acting?
WILBUR: Think about what you just said, Orville.
ORVILLE: Filmmaking?
WILBUR: Orville...
ORVILLE: Prescription drugs?
WILBUR: There you go.
NICOLAS: Guys, GUYS, guys! I have thoughts, okay? Real thoughts about...I mean, I love your work, I really do--
ORVILLE: But you have some suggestions on how we can improve upon it?
NICOLAS: Does a monkey live in my closet?
WILBUR: DOES a monkey live in your closet?
ORVILLE: Wilbur, peace. This man is from the future. Surely, he can give us some helpful hints at least.
WILBUR: Fine. What sort of tips do you have for us, Mr. Cage?
NICOLAS: Well...Have you thought about...tying birds to the wings of your plane?
(A beat.)
WILBUR: Beg your pardon?
ORVILLE: Birds?
NICOLAS: Not just any birds. Like, birds that can fly. You know, no chickens, no ostriches--
WILBUR: Oh, good. For a second there, I thought you meant ostriches.
NICOLAS: No, definitely no ostriches. No magpies either.
WILBUR: Magpies can fly.
NICOLAS: Can they?
WILBUR: Yes.
NICOLAS: Oh, okay. Well, tie 'em up then!
ORVILLE: Mr. Cage--
NICOLAS: A few bald eagles and an emu and you won't need engines or anything!
WILBUR: Emus don't fly.
NICOLAS: You guys are blowing my MIND today!
ORVILLE: Mr. Cage, we appreciate you trying to help--
NICOLAS: What about balloons? Have you thought about balloons?
ORVILLE: It's not a question of just lifting the plane. Flying and lifting are two different things!
WILBUR: Much like acting and staring off into space with a pained expression on your face are two different things.
NICOLAS: Are they?
ORVILLE: Surely here in the future, they don't tie things to their aircraft to make them rise?
NICOLAS: That's because they're not INNOVATORS! You guys are INNOVATORS!
WILBUR: I'm not sure we'd still be looked at as innovators if we tied penguins to the wings of our plane.
NICOLAS: Because...penguins...
WILBUR: Don't fly.
NICOLAS: DontflyrightIknewthat...I knew that.
ORVILLE: Maybe we should just go see another movie.
WILBUR: Preferably one you're not in.
NICOLAS: Man, you guys don't understand what we could do here. We could change history.
WILBUR: But in this case, history actually worked out rather well.
NICOLAS: Wow. WOW. Wow. The next thing you're going to tell me is that you didn't hide a copy of the Magna Carta inside your barn.
(A beat.)
ORVILLE and WILBUR: Who told you?
(NICOLAS CAGE smirks.)
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