My Pretentious Vacation

These are photos

Of my pretentious vacation

This is where I built homes

For African orphans

This is me

With one of the African orphans

As you can see

I’m holding the African orphan

And I’m being very compassionate

About the whole thing

Very tender
Very loving

I’m really leaning into compassion

At this moment

And I’m also holding a water bottle

Because I needed to keep an eye

On my hydration

While building the houses--

Well--huts

--For the orphans

Because shortly before this vacation

I found out

That I’m actually part fish

And that was a real wake-up call for me

I thought about piloting a submarine

And sinking to the bottom of the ocean

Escaping through some side door

And swimming towards--

Well, who knows?

Before my pretentious vacation

I didn’t know my lineage was aquatic
And therefore

Unable to feel empathy

For orphans

African, or otherwise

And had I known

I wouldn’t have wasted

Precious pretentious

Vacation days

Building homes--

--Well, huts

--For children I can’t even feel

Real compassion for

This is a photo of me

Standing on a beach

Thinking about my life

And my new life

A life I assume will include

Crustaceans

Singing crustaceans

Like Ariel

In The Little Mermaid

Here’s where I delivered clean water

To a tribe of people

Who can’t drink water

If it’s touched by a Western woman

Who’s using their thirst

For a photo op

I didn’t care for that tribe

I don’t care for any group of people

Who don’t understand

That it's okay to use suffering

For advancement

Provided you’re willing to trade

A little perception

For a little perspective

Perspective?

Is that the word I want?

Perspective?

Huh…

Well, here’s me and a man I met

On a boat

And I forget where the boat was going

But he and decided to get married

And, in fact, we did

But then we got divorced

On the plane ride home

But in between

There was a wedding

In the middle of the jungle

Our witnesses were a cheetah

And a low-hanging vine

And we made love several times

Before arriving at the conclusion
That we barely knew each other

And that marriage is a construct

Best left to people like our parents

Well, maybe not my parents

Since one of them was an atheist

And the other was a lobster

A lobster or a swordfish?

It’s hard for me to know

Since so much of my life is a lie

This is a photo of me

Holding another African orphan

This is a photo of me

Holding two African orphans

This is a photo of me

Holding twenty-nine

African orphans

In all eight

Of my arms

Does this mean I’m an octopus?

Or am I a squid
If my main two arms don't count?

And does this mean I have room

For compassion

Despite my believing that--

As a fish

It would be impossible for me

To feel anything like that?

How many African orphans

Would I have to hold

To feel human?

To feel like a person?

How many would I have to hold

To feel like a good person?

Do I have enough arms?
Are there enough orphans?
And do I have enough vacation days?

And how many photos would I have to take

To set it all in stone?

To prove that I am

Who I want to be?

To show

To show

To show

To show you

What I’d like you

To know