A Forty-Seven Minute Joke That Isn't a Joke At All

I don’t really have a punchline

I have a long, long story

That just kind of

Ends

And when I tell the story

People look at me like--

And then?

And I’m like--

Yeah, that’s it

And because the story

Takes forty-seven minutes to tell

They get so angry

I don’t know if they’d get as angry

If it was, like, a forty-five minute story

Or a forty-three minute story

But I do know that forty-seven minutes

With no punchline

And they are fit to be tied

Everyone keeps telling me

What a bad comedian I am

And I’m like--

Who said I was a comedian?

And they’re like--

Well, you’re up there

Telling jokes

And I’m like--

I don’t know if you’d call

These jokes

A forty-seven minute story

With absolutely nothing funny about it

Is hardly a joke

And they’re like--

Well, what are you doing up there?

And I’m like--

There’s a microphone

People are listening

I’m talking

I’m telling a story

Something that happened to me

And they’re like--

This isn’t a storytelling night

It’s a night of comedy

And I’m like--

Well I guess it’s funny

I wound up here

With a forty-seven minute story

And no jokes to tell

But usually they disagree

They do not find that funny

Not at all, and um--

It’s probably true

That I could find a better, um,

Forum

For my story

But, um, you know

Sometimes you have to seize

The forum

That’s given to you

I walked by a bar

I saw a microphone

I saw a stage

I saw people listening

And I got up there

And, um, there’s no message in that

Like, no moral or anything

It’s just what happened

But, you know, people get so occupied

With why something happened

And, like, so often?

We forget

That things just happen
And there’s really no reason for them

And, it’s like, if you just listen

Or watch

Or whatever

And experience a thing happening

Without it

Needing to mean something
It’s just--

I mean, I just find it to be

A much better way

Of, uh, you know

Going through life

Not always, like,

Tearing your hair out

Trying to figure out

Why some guy

Is going on and on

For forty-seven minutes

And then just abruptly stops

And looks at you like--

Yeah, that’s it

Any questions?

And, like, whether or not

You do have any questions

It’s like--

Forty-seven minutes

Isn’t that long a time

Provided you don’t have, like,

A terminal illness or something

So why not just listen, you know?

That’s how life should be

I think

I can’t say it’s always funny

But, uh

Yeah