Gonna sit against this door
Until I know it’s quiet
I’ll know
When the car outside
Stops revving
Up
Its engine
I’ll know
When the low-flying planes
Finally land
I’ll know
When to inch my back
Up alongside
The red red door
And reach for the knob
And twist
They’re going to tell me
It’s already quiet
But if you don’t know
How to hear
How do you know
The difference
Between noise
And sound?
If you were never taught
To see
How can you tell a color
From the lost light
That takes it to blue
Or green?
If you’ve only ever been afraid
What would look
Like courage
To you?
I’m just going to sit
Against this door
And when I get up
I’ll look for
What looks like
Courage
In a world
Full of cowards
The other side of the room
Has another kind of door
That leads to a basement
Where I won’t know
My own home anymore
You live above ghosts
And they don’t bother you
Because there’s a door
And then there’s you
Funny what we think
A door can protect us from
We run from someone
And slam the door
And the lock goes down
And we’re safe
But it’s a few inches of wood
Or metal
Or steel
And other than that
It’s us hugging the thing
We don’t want to touch
Right now I’m sitting here
With back
Up against those inches
Telling myself
That I’m away from the harm
Separate from the danger
In the light
In the color
In the sound
But it’s…
You tell a story
And you take it
Take it back
Does that make it a lie?
Have I lied to you yet?
Upstairs I can’t go
There’s too much
To figure out
Up there
And whatever’s soft
Is to put you to sleep
And whatever’s warm
Is to burn you
When you get used
To the heat
And whatever’s love
Is just two ticks of a clock
That stopped working
A long time ago
I want to stay here
Where I can hear
The feet on grass
The safety off
The news report
The shoveled dirt
The hose
The flat tire
The gross misconduct
The accusation
The dented mailbox
The call to arms
And then--
A break
What will I hear then?
It won’t matter
By then I won’t know
What sound is
But maybe courage
Maybe
Maybe courage
Maybe
Something
Like that
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