A Boring Husband

 I guess I could have had

A boring husband

I’m sure many women

With boring husbands

Lead lives

That they find

They can stand

Without any trouble

I knew I couldn’t

I can’t stand much

To be honest with you

My patience is not ornate

It…

Some say comfort

Is really just happiness

After we forget

What unhappiness

Feels like

After we’re far enough

Away from it

I could never get that far

From unhappiness

But I would think about

Long nights in emergency rooms

Calling out sick the next day

Sitting on the couch

Watching insipid television

And even though all of it

While I was living it

Was...unbearable

Once I was out of it

I looked back at it

And I would get a rush

As I was slicing up bread

That I’d made myself

As I was watering plants

That I’d taken

Such good care of

As I was making plans

To meet a friend

For a lovely lunch

And all the while
I wanted to scream

Because I missed

Living like someone

On the tip of the world

How can you ask me

To live through war

And then value

Civilian life

When my body

Has grown addicted

To the sirens?

I went out and found

Another man

Like the one
I swore

I would never

Go anywhere near again

And as if the forces

That put us near each other

Knew what I was doing

It kept shoving all these…

Boring men

Towards me

With their straight smiles

And their straight stories

And their licorice personalities

And I kept sending them back

Where they came from

Until I found a man

I knew

Would never bore me

Would never keep me safe

Would never tell me the truth

Would never let me have one day

Where I wasn’t wondering

When the switch would flip

And the lights would go out

But I’d never be bored

When I was little

I wanted to be Indiana Jones

I wanted to be

Roy Schneider on the boat

Trying not to get eaten by Jaws

I wanted everything

To be an adventure

Because it looked like

Somewhere in the adventure

There was a happiness

That was different

From all other kinds

Of happiness

And I wanted to know

What the felt like

But I never did

Because they don’t tell you

That happiness doesn’t come

With a rush

It comes with a sound sleep

And a kind hand

It comes

And you

Refuse it

It comes

And you send it

Back