My father won’t
Drive over
The bridge
My father says
He saw something once
In a dream
That looked like a bridge
And it was falling
Cars in the water
Waves from where
The vehicles dropped
And hit
And sunk
Two places that were connected
Distant again
Like from times before
My father said you get lucky
You get lucky and that’s why
You’re not there
When a bridge breaks
Or a plane falls
Or a man somewhere
Takes out
A gun
It’s just luck
And you can’t get luck
But the good news
Is you can’t lose it either
You have it
And you don’t have it
And you never know
Which it is
Until you’re either
Happy
Or heading
For the water
My father knew that
But it didn’t mean
He could accept it
He couldn’t let life
Take its chances
With him
And it only got worse
When he had me
And my sister
Leaving us up to chance
Was unthinkable
And so we never went over bridges
And we never got on planes
And wherever we went
He would say--
‘Where’s the door? Stay by the door?’
Anything sent us
To the doctor
A cough
A bump
A rash
Nothing was ever given time
To go away or heal
We were not allowed to roughhouse
Or go outside by ourselves
Or even walk to the bus stop
And when I started to drive
My father begged me
Never to go over a bridge
He had that dream
When he was a child
And the same way
You dream something
So wonderful
You want to run to it
And you start running
And you never stop
You can dream something
That rattles you so greatly
You start running the other direction
And no matter how far you get
The breath stays on your neck
The sound of it
Like breaking water
Leaves itself
In your aural path
I was twenty-four
The first time I ever
Drove over a bridge
On a road trip
To the home
Of the woman I loved
We approached
This thing of beam and bolts
And she told me
The only way to her island home
Was over this bridge
This forceful authority
And so what could I do?
I was going to ask
Her father
For her hand in marriage
Because that was important to her
Because she was what we’d call
Old-fashioned
And she would not stand
For weakness in a man
I drove over the bridge
Holding my breath
The whole time
The sound of my father’s heartbeat
Coming up through my own
The water below me
Went blind to me
As I stared straight ahead
To where I was going
To wherever
I could
Go
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