Sunday, October 25, 2020

A Phone Call in Dublin

I was in Dublin

When she called


It had only been a week

And she wanted to know

When I was coming back to school


I told her

That school

Wasn’t part of my plan

Anymore


And she laughed at me

Not in a cruel way

But just…


Just to let me know

That she wasn’t taking

Any of what I was doing

Too, uh, too seriously


She called when I was at

This pub that I would go to

After walking around all day

Looking for a job

That I didn’t want


The bartender would bring

The phone over

This old phone

That’s probably been there

Since the 70’s

And I’d hear her voice

And try to keep it from catching

As I answered her

And told her

That I would have to stop

Coming to this bar

If she was going

To keep calling me there

Because the owner

Was getting annoyed

Even though, in reality

He didn’t seem to care too much


In fact, he told me

That back in the day

Women were always calling

Looking for their husbands

And boyfriends

And, uh, fiances


He asked me

How long I’d been away from her

And I told him

It’d been a couple of months


He never asked me

How some girl in America

Could get the phone number

Of a bar in Dublin

Or how she knew

I was there


Maybe bartenders know

Instinctively

What to ask

And what not to ask


I sucked down my drink

And thanked him

For letting me

Put my backpack

On the bar


From behind him

I could hear

The phone ring again


I already knew

It was her


This time

She was crying

And I begged her

To stop


She wanted me

To come back


But back to what?


I told her that she needed

To try and rest

To close her eyes

And not see the bridge

Not see the car

Not keep playing that night

Over and over again

In her head

The way I was

Before I left


I told her that infinity

Would be

So interesting to explore

And that if she wasn’t so hung up

On no longer being

Among the living

She might enjoy

The floating feeling I’ve heard you experience

When you make peace

With your expanded soul


She told me to go to hell

And get my ass home


A strange double request


I hung up

And made my way

Out into the street


I couldn’t tell

If I was walking

Or standing still

As the city

Moved around me


Dublin is a city

In love with its own history

Like Rome

And London


That makes it hard, you know


To tell the living

From the dead


It makes it hard to know

If you’ve still got

A bit of life

To work with


Or if you should

Go in somewhere

Sit down

And pour a drink

Into whatever’s left

Of you

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