Play Mariah

Don’t pretend you don’t know
What I’m going to say

It’s Christmas

And you know what that means

That means it’s time to play Mariah

Oh sure

Play Johnny Mathis
Play Burl Ives
Play Bing Crosby

But when you’re ready to close the night

Play Mariah

Because it’ll put you in a good mood
Because it’ll make you feel like wrapping presents
Not buying presents, but wrapping presents

Because it goes perfect with the smell of Christmas cookies
And the sight of a tree all lit up

Because it’s fun to dance to
Because it’s fun to sing along with
Because it’s fun, just plain fun

When you play Mariah during the holidays
You remember why you loved them in the first place

Because once a year
We’re all given an opportunity
To settle old grudges
To hug our co-workers
To look at each other and say ‘I wish you peace and happiness’
And really mean it

Because when you hear Mariah
You remember that it’s possible
To start again

To install joy and love and goodwill
Into your life

And it’s not about the presents
Or the decorations
Or the line at Target
Where several people got thrown in jail
For engaging in ninja combat

It’s about the fact that as long as you got a roof over your head
Clothes on your back, food on your table
And people who love you

Every day is a holiday

So play Mariah

And to all—a good night