It's Not Because It Feels Good

The assumption is, I guess
That it feels good

That it keeps happening
Because I want it to happen

And maybe I do, who knows
But it doesn't feel good

It has nothing to do
With feeling good

Bringing something onto yourself
Believing you deserve it--

It has nothing to do with pleasure
It has nothing to do with liking it

I...it fulfills something, yes
And in that way lies satisfaction

But unless you've experienced this
You can't understand how things like satisfaction

Aren't positive, aren't--what they should be
And how even essentially good things are coupled with...

Like relief--it marries guilt
Joy is chained to anxiety

And so you start to think about the end of things
How that's the only way you'll ever really escape from it all

By just...
Taking it all to a conclusion

And people look at you
And they think it's simple

They think you're just enjoying yourself
That you're having a great time

Because you're smiling
They talk about how much you're smiling

How happy you seem
And what they don't get is--

That's the biggest warning sign of all
The happiness

Because that means what you've been waiting for
What you've been looking forward to--

--The end--

--Is coming

That's why so many people just wash their hands
They just say 'They're done'

'I'm done'
And you don't blame them

Because who wouldn't be?
Because it's a maze, it's confusing

It's something you can never
Get to the bottom of

They talk about hitting rock bottom
But what they don't realize is

You can hit it so hard
You go right through it and keep going

And no matter what it looks like
That's not what it is

It's just what I give to you
So you don't give up on me

But it doesn't feel good
Sometimes it feels like everything

Every emotion, every up and down
Every take-off and crash, but--

Never good

Never
Any
Good