Grace's Inconvenient Moment

Daniel, I'm going back to school

I going back because I don't feel like a grown-up
And yet I feel totally grown-up

I feel past grown-up
I feel, sort of, done

Like I'm...done

I have you
I have the kids
And I have a great job
And I know that little piece of paper
Shouldn't mean very much
But it does, Daniel

It does

The other day Callie brought home Algebra homework
And I couldn't do it
And I thought to myself

What if this is what I missed in college?

Then you came home
And you couldn't do it either
And admittedly
That made me feel better

But that's my life everyday

I hear a word I don't know
I hear a name or a term
I watch a game show
And when I don't know the answer
I think--

Is that what I missed?

Would I have known that?

You can feel secure in the things you don't know
Because you have that piece of paper
Because I stayed home and had the kids
So you could make something of yourself
So we could have a house and two cars
And a pool in the summer

And I don't resent you for that
But I will if you tell me
I can't go back

And just so we're clear
If you tell me I can't go back
I'm going back anyway

So if you thought this was me asking permission
Then I may have mislead you

When I was growing up
My mother said to me--

Find a good husband
And you won't need to go to college

And I didn't entirely believe her
But it did make it easier to quit school
Once I found out I was pregnant

It was easier thinking I wasn't letting anyone down

I never counted on feeling like I let myself down

Daniel, I want to do this now
Because in a few years
Callie is going to have to make the same decision I did

She's going to have to choose
Between school or traveling
Or getting married and having kids
Or running off to Europe
And never coming back

And I'll love her no matter what she chooses

But just in case ten years later
She realizes that she's not thrilled with the choice she made

I want her to remember me
In this moment
This inconvenient moment

Making a change to say
It's not too late
To change my life

That way if she has to
She can do the same

So Daniel, I'm going back
And I'm majoring in something ridiculous
And I'm going to wear a backpack
And buy folders
And number two pencils
And be that woman on campus
Who went back to school

And because nobody cared when I dropped out of school
I don't care what anybody thinks about me going back

I love you

Now go make dinner

Because I've got to go buy school supplies