I Lost It For You

I lost it for you

The warm dispension
The made up words
The coffee flavored mouth mints
The peppermint parade apartment windows
The delusions, the illusions
The fucked up nonsense

The high, baby

I lost it for you

I woke up one day
Hearing you say I was a junkie
And you weren't going to fuck a junkie anymore
Because you walked by a church
And got pulled inside
By a priest looking to fill a quota

And he spit fire into you
And forgiveness and guilt
And suddenly I was too bad
For someone too good
To fuck
To screw
To do and do with
Anymore

So I had to go and lose it
Even though I didn't want to
Because I wasn't ready to
Because I could have died
Because my body cried
When it dried up and got nice and crisp
For the lord and the church
And the churning fascination
You suddenly had
For bad dolls made good

Sewed up
And screwed up no more

We showed up at church
And got saved

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

You were chocolate cereal
When all that's left is the milk

So I threw out spoon
And lapped you up
Like a kitten

Counting on you
To be all I needed
When I needed
More and more and more
Than could be contained
In lungs and dicks and diaphragms

Fuck you, I want to
Go back to being
Who I was
When I was damaged

But I lost it for you

And now I can't find it

And you lapsed back into all that old crap
When you couldn't find the church one day
And found your old dealer instead

Now I have to head out
While you're stuck on the bed
And see if I can find
My old peace of mind

Because even though I lost it for you
I know you won't be losing anything
For me