When We Do What We Really Want

When we do what we really want
We feel guilty afterwards

We call people
And talk fast
And try to pace ourselves
So we can run away
From what we just did

We kid ourselves into thinking
That we're merely flinging
And that it's just a thing
It's just a thing that happened
That won't ever happen again

But then before we've reached the end of the week
Our defenses have weakened
To the point where
We forget the guilt
And trip to slip up all over again

When we do what we want
We go exploring in places
We didn't know we even wanted to see

We feel our attractions change
And our reactions to physical attributes
End up shooting off
In a million different directions

Our normal protections break down
Into nothing, into air, into rain

And the pain we feel
Becomes dull
By the dull throbbing
Of the music
Outside the bedroom door

We want more when we do
What we really want

We want more than what we left at home
What we do every day
How we play every night
How we fight and slap
And snap ourselves
Back into everyday ruts
And we don't have the guts
To change it

When we do what we really want
The best part is
It's then we understand
What it is
We really want