Friday, May 11, 2018

And Alan Tries to Listen

It would be easier
If anybody
Had anything
Worth listening to

But he tries
He tries to listen

Sitting at that meeting
Ping pong-ing his pencil
Against the conference table
Trying to make something out of
What Jack is skirting around

This is going to lead
To lay-offs

And Alan doesn’t know
What to think about that

He’ll keep his job
He’s only sixteen from the tip-top
And that means
The company will have to fold
Before anything hits him
And that’s why he keeps the bag of cash
Tucked away in the crawl space
Above his closet

Orva says they need to put that money in the bank
But Alan already has money in the bank
And banks are theoretical
Alan appreciates the tangible

He tries to listen to Jack
Shake off their quarterly numbers
But the sweat falling down onto his reports
Is more interesting to Alan

People lie, sweat doesn’t
And neither does bite marks
On their lips
From where they’ve been trying to work out magic
With their front teeth

There’s no magic
In quarterly reports

Alan figured that out
Back when he was two hundred from the top
But he wouldn’t tell Jack that
Because Jack is a ten-year-old
Trapped in a suit
Trapped in a new car
He can’t afford

Poor chump

Alan removes his glasses
And rubs his eyes
To indicate that he is weary
Of all this justification

The fact that simple math
Is debated over
In the upper offices
As if it’s political science
Is troubling to Alan

People who try to make solids liquids
And subjectify the objective in life
Are ultimately dangerous
To people like him
Who don’t have the luxury
Of living in grayscale

While Jack wipes his brow
Alan thinks about Catalina
And how Orva hinted
At wanting
Another honeymoon

Money isn’t tight
But it isn’t right either

The washing machine’s been making
Strange sounds
And they’re long overdue
For a new roof

The way things are today
Bigger companies
Than the one Alan works for
Have fallen in on themselves
And he wants to be prepared
If his retirement goes soft
And asshats like Jack
Finally take a hundred-year-old institution
And turn it into evening news

Alan hears his name
And perks up a bit—

What was that?

The meeting goes on
But now people are looking at Alan
Gauging his reaction

What did Jack say?
Should he ask him
What he said?

Jack is looking at him now
Waiting for some kind of answer
Pen hovering
Above some note
On the report
Needing something from Alan
Before he can either strike or strike out

Alan feels as though he should stand
But that would put him
Even more on the spot

Next to him, Veronica offers
A condoling smile
Which makes him
Want to flee the room

Why are they looking at him?
What do they need?

The washing machine is long gone
The roof is a batch of chipped shingles
The honeymoon to Catalina
Might be the only thing
Standing in the way of divorce

And at the other end of the table
Jack is waiting for an answer
From Alan
Who wasn’t listening
Until now

Alan smells the sweat
Coming off him
Before he feels it
Dribbling down his skin

People lie, sweat doesn’t

He starts to say something
And bites his lip
Instead

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