The Visitor

Your sister is going to come here

And for a week

We have to play entertainers

And I don’t want to do that

That’s why I’m just saying--

If she moves

Let her move

But I don’t see why

We have to act like

This is a life choice

And not just, you know

Another facet of her personality
Manifesting itself

This is just her way of being like--

I’m going to do this big thing

And then everybody else

Has to accommodate me

I mean, she knows

We’re never going to go visit her, right?

Why would we go all the way to Sacramento

When she’s going to be living in some apartment

With some girl she met on Twitter

Which means we’d have to sleep on the couch

If there even is a couch

And if there is

She’s probably sleeping on it

Because I bet this is a one-bedroom

I would bet my life on it

And can you see her playing tour guide?
Showing us around?

Rearranging her schedule

Because we’re stopping by

For a week?

No

She wouldn’t do that

And she knows

That we know

She wouldn’t do that

So we’re not going to visit her

And she’s going to do the twice-a-year thing

Twice a year and maybe holidays

And that means

She’s going to come here

And we’re going to have to take a week off work

And take her out to restaurants

And listen to her yammer on

About her life

And what Sacramento is like

And who she’s dating

And why it’s not working out

And who she’d like to be dating instead

And maybe

Maybe

She’ll bring one of these guys to visit with her

And that’ll be even worse for us

Because then we’ll have to pretend

We think whoever this guy is could be the one

When we fully fucking know it’s not

And it’s--you know--it’s a dance

It’s a dance, Jen

And it’s a dance

I don’t really feel like doing

You know, people do this

They disappear to wherever

And then when they pop back up

They expect you to just drop everything

And focus on them

For as long as they’re around

Out of some feeling that, like

Life is short

And you need to savor moments with people

Even people who have made the decision

That you’re not worth

Sticking around for

And I don’t get that

I really don’t

When my brother comes by

Does he ever ask one question

One fucking question

About what’s going on with us?

Our fucking marriage was falling apart

The last time he came to visit

And he couldn’t even tell

Because all he wanted to talk about

Was his fucking vineyard

And how great everything was going

And when were we going to come visit

When us visiting would be, like--

The last fucking thing

He or you or I

Would want to do

Right?

Right

I don’t want to visit

I don’t want anyone else to visit

I want to interact with the people who are here

And the people who aren’t here

Can send me messages online

About whatever the hell is going on with them

And I will answer those messages in a timely manner

And it will not disrupt

My entire

Fucking

Existence

Does that sound okay?

Does that sound okay to you?

I’m sorry, but--

Fuck your sister

Fuck her

She does not get--

She does not--

She does not get to be

A visitor

No

No

No

No

I’m sorry, but--

No

I’m...I’m…

I’m…

...Just…

We’re doing good now, and…

And…

No