Jewelry for the Other Woman

This is not the bracelet

He would have bought his wife

There’s a special kind of jewelry you get

When you’re the other woman

It’s a little bolder

A little flashier

Something that makes them feel a certain way buying it

The same way it’s supposed to make you feel

Wearing it

But the two feelings

Never really identify

You can wear the jewelry

Around the guy

But usually it’s not something

You’d wear

Anywhere else

I have these earrings

That are--

Well, it’s kind of amazing, actually

That something can cost so much

And still be so ugly

I guess it’s the thought that counts

If the thought wasn’t--

I’m so happy

I’m having an affair with you

I have this necklace

That just screams--

I’m so glad you’re not my wife

I should be offended

I should--

Want more

Than this

But the truth is--

I don’t

At least, I think I don’t

It’s hard to know

The jewelry is blinding

In that special way

Only really tacky gifts can be

So maybe it just gets in your eyes

Like smoke, you know?

I put on what he gives me

And I feel like a Russian empress

You know, one of the ones

They executed?

Sometimes I put it all on

Every single one

The bracelets, the rings

The tiara--

Yes, he got me a tiara

Do you believe it?

I put it all on

And I just lay in bed

Wondering what the hell

I’m supposed to do with my life

I’ll be there on my cheap sheets

In my tiny apartment

Wearing thousands of dollars of jewelry

And I’ll know that if I made one phone call

I could change my entire situation

Would he leave her for me?

He would

He wouldn’t want to

But he would

And then I’d become the wife

She’d become the ex-wife

And some poor girl who’s probably not eighteen yet

Would, in a few short years, become the other woman

To be honest with you,

It’s not the moral morass

That stops me

From upgrading

My surroundings

It’s that men have affairs

With young and beautiful women

That’s what we’ve all agreed on, right?

So if I’m the other woman

That means I’m young

And beautiful

And lively

And young

And...and…

And it doesn’t matter

That I’m nobody’s wife

Because I’m something better

Or at least more interesting

I’m the one

Who gets the fancy jewelry

And doesn’t get to wear it

Because when I do

I feel like I’m suffocating

Under the weight of it

That’s why I put all of it on at once

To see if it can smother me

It never does, not really, but…

But I can’t leave it on for too long

Before I desperately want to take it off

As soon as he leaves

Or drops me off

I remove every piece of it

I unclasp

I undo

I moisturize my skin

Wherever the infidelity accessories touched me

Then I wonder

What he buys his wife

I wonder what he gives her

If he gives her

Anything

At all