Cast a Shadow

You know, the thing about your sister was--

Well, you know

She was willful

She was very set, and uh--

Determined

She was very determined

To do things

The way she wanted to do them

And, uh, I knew

I had to be very careful

When dealing with her

Because I didn’t want to give her ammunition

For, uh, rebelling

You know?

So when she did something

I didn’t like

I would just--

Well, you know, raising kids

Certainly teaches you a lot

About how to live your life

Your whole life

Not just the part

That parents

And what I learned

From dealing with your sister

And sometimes you

Sometimes your father even

Is that it’s very important

When dealing with people

To cast a shadow

To cast as large a shadow

As you can

Now

Some people--

Like the crackpot therapist

Your father made us see

After his third infidelity

--Want to attach a negative connotation to that

The idea of being someone

Who makes another person

Feel cold

And unloved

But the truth is

There are only so many ways

To express displeasure

With someone

And what are your options, right?

Screaming?

Yelling?
Cursing out?

You had friends with mothers

Who behaved that way

When they’d miss curfew

Or get in trouble at school

Remember the Scott’s that lived next to us?

Your sister was friends with the twins

And when they got in trouble

Their mother would shout so loud

You could hear her from miles away

Nobody wants a mother like that

But the fact remains

That somehow

You have to let your children know

When they’ve messed up

So I cast a shadow

I got a little cold

So what?

What else was I supposed to do?

Did I ever lay a hand on you?
Did I ever nag you?
Did I ever even really ground you?

No

I just made it very, very clear

That I was not happy

With what you were doing

And if that felt a little bit like--

Like withholding love

Then, well--

That was what you girls

Brought to the table

Emotionally

That was what you took

From what I was doing

Because the truth is

Of course I still loved you

I would never stop loving

Either of you

But if you felt bad

Because I was ignoring you

And it made you

Change your behavior

Then, well--

Mission accomplished, right?

I mean, isn’t that what I was there for?

To teach you something?

To teach you

That when you mess up

People treat you differently

And that maybe people love you a little less--

Not me, not your parents

But people

Other people

Might not care about you as much

When you do things they don’t like

That feeling

That feeling in your gut

When someone you’re devoted to

Or, who you think is devoted to you

Turns their back to you?

That’s how you know

You’ve done something wrong

And that feeling

That gut feeling

Is the reason

You’ll never do it again

You learn in the shadows, sweetheart

That’s where you figure out

How to act

That’s

Where you

Grow up