Blood/Distance

You’re so much further from me

Than you think you are

You thought the blood would connect us

From here to wherever it is

You could run to

But distance is stronger

Than anything

And you--

You put distance there

Between us

And distance that’s put down

Is stronger than all the familial love

You can write down

In a family scrapbook

People think if family hurts you

It’s because they’re bad

They’re bad family

Bad people

A screw loose somewhere

And they feel better

Because their family’s not like that

They have a good family

A loving family

That’s what helps them sleep at night

And why they tell themselves

They’ve got something

They can fall back on
In this world

But those of us who’ve been tested

Really tested

Know that--

And this is going to sound

Isolated and cynical

Because it’s been appropriated

By loner characters in films

And books

And so it’s become trite dialogue

To establish someone

As a loner

But what I should tell you is--

You really

From the day you’re born

Don’t have a soul you can count on

But you

And your mother holds

And your father teaches you

To tie your shoes

And your sisters and brothers

Pose with you

In family photographs

And all that makes you feel safe

But one day

You decide that what you have

Is strong enough

To withstand a little

Distance

You put some miles

Between you and your family

Maybe you do more than that

Maybe you put some emotional distance

Between you and these people

You know so well

Who know you so well

Just because you’re feeling rebellious

And you want to see how hard of a push

Gets everybody to keep back

Or maybe it’s more innocent than that

Maybe you forget to return

A few phone calls

Back in the day

They’d have told you--

Don’t forget to write

And you would’ve forgotten

Lots of people did

No sin there

But one day

Everybody comes back

To see if the farm

Still looks as red as it did

When they hopped in a car

And went off to the train station

To get as far away as they could

The only demand we make of ourselves

Is to run

And the only demand we make of others

Is to stay

And if either of us can’t fulfill those demands

We can never forgive it

So when the barn’s paint is chipped off

And our toys are thrown out

And nobody feels like embracing us

As we come up the porch stairs

Looking for our loved ones

We feel such anger about it

But it’s just distance

You can’t be close and far

Sounds logical, right?

But you never stop to think

About how close you have to get

To make sure nothing changes

You have to be so close

You can touch whatever it is

Or whoever it is

You want to see stay the same

But by the time you do it

By the time you’ve got your hands

On the surface

It’s already something else, isn’t it?

And when you pull your hands back

They’re cold, aren’t they?

The blood’s gone out of them

They’re cold

As stone