No Small Roles

So what I do is

I stand over here

And when it’s time
I sing the chorus

With the lead

I don’t know if I have a name

I call myself Teresa

But that’s just a choice on my part

I don’t have my own song

Or lines

I mainly stand near this wall

Or sit in that chair

And then get up

And go over to that wall

The other day I was reacting

Like, really reacting

To what the main person was saying

And I felt weird all of a sudden like--

Why am I reacting

So much to this?

I need to pull back

So I pulled way back

But then when the song started

I was a little late

Getting up from the chair

To move to the wall
And everybody kind of felt it

So then when I went home that night
I got into bed

And the Lord spoke to me

And said--

Um, so, it’s no big deal
But, um, you were kind of--

And I said--

No, no, I get it

I totally get it

I can’t do that

I’m sorry
I was just really reacting to--

And the Lord was like--

It’s really fine

Honestly

Happens all the time

It’s just Lead Person

Is Super Important

And we really need

To support Lead Person

In order to not upset

The Great Balance

But, like, you’re also very important

In your own way

But your importance lives in, like,

How you get up from the chair

And how you chime in

When everybody else is singing

I listened and tried not to make excuses

But I also felt as though
I was being spoken down to

Because everybody knows

That even if I sit in the chair and don’t move

Or stand by the wall, picking at my cuticles,

It doesn’t really matter

Because if anybody’s paying attention to me

It’s because they’re bored

And if they’re bored

That’s not my fault

That’s Lead Person’s fault

And I know I should have pride in my life

But my life mainly consists of opening my eyes every day

To find that I’m standing in a musical

Where the music is written

For other people to sing

Sometimes I sing different words under my breath
While the Lead Person is singing
But one time, Guy Near Window caught me

And gave me the dirtiest look

So I stopped doing it

But I also chose to make him somebody
Living with a weird birthmark

Shaped like Tunisia

Just because I was angry

It doesn’t mean he has the birthmark

I’m not the Lord

I don’t speak to people at night

To tell them how they did that day

Oh, BUT the Lord only talks to you

If how you did that day
Was bad

The Lord says that there’s no time

To talk to everyone

Every night

Just to tell them they did the right thing that day

And that doing the right thing

Should be enough of a reward

Without a personal message from the Lord
Saying how proud they are of you

But, like, they’re the LORD

How can they say they can’t do something?
I think it’s more about them not wanting

To do something

I hear they talk to Lead Person

And Second Lead Person
And even Third Lead Person

Every single night

And that makes me so mad

I can’t even tell you

It makes me so mad

That sometimes I want to mess up

In such a way

That not only will the Lord talk to me

To chastise me

But they’ll REALLY talk to me

They’ll ask me

Why I got up during the song

And stepped in front of Lead Person

And sang my own song

That nobody’s ever heard before

And that doesn’t even sound good

Because it’s too difficult for someone

Like me to sing

I don’t know what I’ll say

When that happens

If it ever happens

Which it won’t

Because I’m never going

To be brave enough

To do it

But…

I think about it

Sometimes I think about it

While everyone else is singing

And all I’m doing is moving my lips

But nothing’s

Coming

Out