The Absurdists at the Beach

The Absurdists go to the beach
In the middle of the month
When the waves come up
And eat hot dogs on the sand

'Can you back in,' the Absurdists ask, 'So that we can go swimming?'

The waves reluctantly finish their hot dogs
Then roll back away from the sand

'This isn't absurd,' says Clara, 'This is surreal.'

John Johnson debates her
And says that the line is fine
That it is, indeed, a fine line

Clara asks to see the line
So John Johnson pulls it out of his pocket
And shows it to her

It looks like a strand of hair
Taken from a sleeping princess

'Well,' she says, reluctantly, 'You're right.  It is very fine.'

. . . . .

The boys play with kittens
While the girls play with puppies
Then they switch
Then they switch again

The waves come up and take the kittens for a swim
But the puppies are driven back to town
Where they can be adopted
By millionaires

Clara finds a monkey
And decides to center a volleyball team around him
Called 'Toes and Thumbs'
But nobody wants to play

'It's too warm,' says John Johnson, pointing to a cloud, 'Look how warm that cloud is!'

Clara goes to sulk
In her sand condo
That she's sharing
With a man named Jerry

Jerry is made up of two trash cans
And a bucket of fish
But the fish are goldfish
And Clara likes playing with them

'Plus,' Clara says, 'Jerry pays his rent on time.'

Cody is building a house
That will rival Clara's condo
And he aims to have it completed
Before the storm arrives

'There is no storm,' says John Johnson, pointing to the cloud, 'Look how calm the cloud is.  That cloud has no urge to storm us.'

Still Cody builds
Until he's next to the cloud
Who, as it turns out
Has no feelings on anything
But does plan to rain
As soon as the Absurdists leave the beach

'Because,' the cloud would say, if it could say, 'It's bad luck to rain on Absurdists.'

. . . . .

Dotty starts digging in the sand
And comes upon a shopping mall
With a few decent shoe stores in it

She tells Clara about the mall
But when Clara finds out
It doesn't have one of those pretzel places in it
She decides to stay in her condo
And shelter herself
From the dangers
Of the beach

'Do you know sometimes people die at the beach,' Clara asks Dotty, 'Just up and die.  Isn't that wild?'

Dotty feels like saying
That people up and die everywhere
For lots of reasons
But instead she goes back to the mall
And purchases a nice pair of shoes
To make herself not think about death

When she climbs out of her hole
The waves sweep up
And fill the shopping mall with water
Sending shoes floating to the surface

'Excellent,' says John Johnson, 'I needed new loafers.'

Dotty misses her shopping mall immediately
And so she makes a mini-mall out of wet sand
But it's really not the same

Meanwhile, the cloud meets another cloud
And the two become one cloud
Then five
Then one again

On the beach, the Absurdists play Sam Cooke
And wish they knew somebody
They could make love to

. . . . .

After seventeen days on the beach
The Absurdists pack up their uneaten lunches
And decide to head home

Clara closes her condo
And hands the keys over
To an Inuit
Going through a mid-life crisis

'I'm sure you'll be very happy here,' Clara says
'Were you,' the Mike the Inuit asks
'No,' she says, 'But that's why I'm so sure somebody else will be'

Dotty removes all her clothing
And covers herself in shoes

She will spend the rest of her life
Shaking herself
To try and get the sand out

Cody dismantles his building
And bids a fond farewell to the cloud
Who is now a small patch of white
In the sky

Meanwhile, John Johnson starts up the treadmill
And requests that they get moving

'If we start walking now,' he says, 'We may be somewhere someday.'

The Absurdists believe this is a lovely philosophy
And as they begin to walk away from the beach
The cloud breathes a sigh
Of relief

And then wonders why they aren't fading away
Into the horizon