How Our Boyfriends Learned to Pose

We put the boys in heels
Heels first, then lipstick
Then we broached
Carefully, tenderly broached
The idea
Of
A dress

They gasped
We assured

'Just a dress,' we said

Just a dress

But then once the dress gap was breached
We applied wigs to their heads
That we bought
At a cheap costume shop
Going out of business
--And for good reason

The wigs made our boyfriends
Look like hookers from the disco era
Seventies gals
With an eighties attitude

We contemplated seeking out
Ripped fishnet stockings
And leather jackets
But then decided
That would be taking it too far

Instead we supplied the boys
With leopard-print skirts
And plastic jackets
With 'Kiss' buttons
On the front

We got them drunk
And shaved their legs
And whatever other parts
Appeared too masculine as well

It turns out our boyfriends
Have nice legs

Nicer than ours
In some cases
And this makes us very angry

So we apply more blush to their cheeks
And more crimp to their wigs
And finger and toenail polish
Along with smiley faces
And crescent moons

When they woke up
It was nearing midnight
The magic hour
Which meant shuffling them out the door
To a waiting cab
And taking them over the bridge
Where we could show them off
At clubs where ambiguity
Would be welcomed
With open arms

The boys--

--Our boys--

--were the talk of the town

With their fearless eyes
And gorgeous legs
They made us, their girlfriends
Very proud

We'd stand with them by the bar
And show them how to hold their arms
How to push the best parts of themselves
Forward towards the crowd

Then they'd show us how to impart our strength
Take the fear out of our eyes
Toss our hair in ways
We'd never imagined possible

We taught them how to pose
And they taught us
How to stop posing

When we danced on the dance floor
The Men Without Wigs
Would stand around us
Watching the girls with the good legs
And the girls with the better legs
Put their arms around each other
Like couples in love

Not realizing that they really were watching
Couples in love

We push back the false hair
To reveal the real ears
Of our boyfriends
And we whisper--

'Let's go, girls'

The boys take off their heels
As they limp towards the door
Wondering why their feet are so sore
After such a short amount of time

They look to us for sympathy
And take back only empathy
For what it's like
To want to walk around the world
Feeling a little bit taller

The boys fall asleep in the cab
On the way back home
And we find ourselves
Carrying them to one respective bed
And plopping them all down together
Like a pile of puppies
Wearing one big plastic jacket

Then we all go down to the living room
And toast our men and our success
With champagne and pretzels

'Our men were real girls tonight,' we say

And this makes us giggle
Then laugh
Then quietly wonder
What they'll say
When they wake up