The Upside Down Department

Sarah works
In the upside down
Department

When she's there
The pencils erase
And the erasers
Pencil things in

Meetings on the ceiling
Lunches on the roof
Discussions on gravity
That occur while gravity
Has been suspended
For lack of creativity

Sarah does her hair
Only to watch it fall down
Towards the floor

Someone keeps stealing her mousepad

Lucikly, a mousepad is pretty useless
When your mouse
Is floating in midair

Burt from Payroll goes by
And tells her she's making negative eighteen dollars this week
Then he asks if she'd like to switch to Direct Deposit
She says that she would not like that
And Burt keeps on floating by

Sarah wonders why Burt floats by
When the Payroll Department
Is supposed to be sideways

Her mother tells her
That her department isn't really upside down

Some things are opposite
And some things are anti-gravity
And some things just make no sense at all
But not everything could be classified as being--

'Upside Down'

She says--'I don't know, Mom.  I didn't name the department.'

She says hi to the receptionist every morning
Who pours coffee in her shoes
To wake herself up

She says hi to Connie in the next cubicle over
Who puts up photos of the family
She's going to have
In five years

When Burt from Payroll
Proposes to her

'He's going to make a sideways woman out of me,' she says
And keeps right on typing up a de-purchase order

When Sarah was first hired here
De-purchase orders
Were the things
She had trouble with the most

Connie explained it to her

'We write to places,' she said, 'And explain why we don't need what they sell.'

'Are they trying to sell things to us?'

'No,' said Connie, 'But you can never be too careful.'

Sarah has a picture in Jamaica
Of her standing in the rain
Under a blue umbrella
Without Sam

She didn't get the picture at first

Sam hates to travel
Sarah doesn't own a blue umbrella
Why wasn't Sam in the picture?

When she realized it
She floated home
Instead of coming down
To walk on the sidewalk
Like a normal person

Sam came home
To find Sarah
A few feet above the couch
Watching a sad movie
On tv

'What's wrong,' he said

Pulling her back down
To the ground

'Oh,' she said, 'Nothing'

What would be in the use?

In telling him
In asking him
Asking him why

'Why would you leave?'
'Why else would I be in Jamaica by myself?'
'Why are you going to be upset?'
'Are you already upset?'
'Why can't you promise me you're going to stay?'

What would be the point?

The pictures hung in the cubicles don't lie
And her picture said she was going to be alone

She could see it in the face
Of Future Sarah

A slow sort of sadness
That comes before you know it's there

Now when she goes to the office
She checks the picture first
To see if it's changed
But it never does

Nothing much changes
Around the office

Her co-workers
Her workload
Her boss

Her boss is always lying on the ground
While she floats above him
Telling him what to do

She doesn't enjoy telling people
What to do
But it's her job
To tell her boss
What to do

'Touch your nose' she says
And he says 'Give me something harder'
So she says 'Stop lying on the floor.  It's dirty.'
And he says 'I like it down here.'
And she says 'Touch your nose'
And this goes on and on
Until he fires her
And then she goes home
And comes in the next day
And waits to be summoned
To his office

Last week she made negative eighty-seven dollars
And two pineapples

She doesn't know where the fruit is coming from
But the company seems eager
To give it away

She brought two coconuts home to Sam
Only to have him tell her
That he's allergic to coconuts

'Exactly,' she says, 'So eat them.'

He pulls her back down to the ground
And says--

'Sarah, things aren't upside down here'

But they are

Because they're in love
And they don't speak
Hardly at all

Because she loves him
And he probably doesn't love her
But he won't come out and say it

Because when they're in bed
And she forces herself to let him hold her
She feels her body
Wanting to go up, up, up
And away from him

Then the alarm clock goes off
And she's back in the office

Her hair is down
Her shoes are on her hands
Her telephone only receives phone calls
From China and Australia
And whenever she picks it up
It's Sam calling from ten years from now

And she says--'Sam, where are you?'
And he says--'China'
And she says 'Sam, where are you?'
And he says--'Australia'
And she says--'Sam, why aren't you here?'

And the line goes dead

She picks up her little yellow pad
And writes something on it
That she'll forget to remember

'Quit tomorrow'

She'll forget it
But she writes it

Not realizing
The notes get vacuumed up
By the janitor
Every night

'Quit tomorrow'

She only gets to the 'i'
When the pen floats up
And out of her hand
And far, far, far
From her grasp