The Asking Price

"So you want to lower the price."
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"Then I'm confused."
"I want to eliminate the price."
"Eliminate it?"
"Yes."
"As a--"
"Now I'm confused."
"As a what?  As a factor?"
"No, I just want to eliminate it."
"I don't understand."
"I want to give it away."
"Give what away?"
"The house?"
"You want to give the house away?  Your house?"
"Well, I already moved into the new one.  It's paid for.  Why not just give away the old one?"
"Give it away to who?"
"I don't know.  Someone who needs it?"
"Well--I mean, a lot of people could need it, but you still want to get some money for it."
"Nooo, I really don't."
"You must want some money for it."
"Nah."
"Nah?"
"Nah."
"Okay, maybe I've given you some bad information."
"I doubt it."
"The market, even when it's bad, the market can still offer up some money on just about any property, no matter how rundown or--"
"Mine isn't rundown."
"I'm aware.  That's why I'm--"
"I just don't want to do this whole short-sale, long-sale, up-sale--"
"Some of those aren't actual things."
"I'd just rather skip the whole thing and get rid of the house--I mean, to someone who could use it."
"It's not a shovel.  We're talking about a house!"
"Can't I give it to the state or something?  Maybe they can turn it into a library."
"It's a raised ranch!"
"Okay, so maybe they can turn it into an awkward library."
"Maybe you could just SELL IT FOR SOMETHING."
"Okay.  You know what?  You're right.  I'm being crazy."
"Thank you."
"Four dollars."
"Four--"
"Three fifty?"
"Wait--"
"Am I going too high already?"
"I meant something reasonable."
"Three twenty-five?"
"This is absurd."
"What about you?  Do you want it?
"No, I don't want it.  I have a house."
"You could sell it."
"My house?"
"No, my house."
"YOU need to sell your house!"
"But you're helping me with that anyway.  This way, you get rid of me and you keep all the money."
"That's unethical!"
"Not if I tell you that you can!"
"Just sell the house and keep the money!"
"What am I going to do with three dollars and twenty-five--"
"SELL IT FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH!"
"But that could take forever!  Nobody's buying houses for what they're worth anymore!"
"So we can price it at less than that!"
"That's what I was suggesting!"
"Just not that much less."
"Eleven dollars.  That's my final offer."
"Then you might as well give it away!"
"THAT'S WHAT I KEEP ASKING YOU TO DO!"
"OKAY!  Okay.  Okay...Let's just...Okay."
"I'm--"
"It's okay."
"I just thought--"
"I know."
"Someone must need it and I don't so--"
"It's tricky."
"You're telling me it's tricky to help people."
"Well--"
"It's hard to help people?  Is that what you're saying?"
"I don't want to say 'Yes.'"
"But?"
"I really don't want to say 'Yes.'  But..."
"I see."
"I can sell your house."
"I know."
"I can sell it fast, and I can sell it a good price, and then you can--"
"It wasn't what I asked for though."
"I know."
"It just...It wasn't what I asked you to do."
"I know, but it's the easiest thing.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the easiest.  It's..."
"Tricky."
"Right.  Exactly right."