Thursday, February 5, 2009

Go Get Your Husband

-- I thought of this when I read about an overly protective wife.  I don't understand protective people.  I always feel that the moment you feel like you need to not only be protective, but over-protective, you've already lost what you're protecting. --

"Go Get Your Husband"

Go get him
Go ahead
I won't judge you
I'll just sit right here
Just like I'm sitting now
And not say a word

Go get him
Go pick him up off the street
Stinking drunk
And carry him past all the other bars
He's frequented throughout the night
Past all his buddies
As they catcall at you
And make rude gestures

Or better yet
Go to her house
Whoever her is this time
And drag him by his hair
While his newest slut
Hops on your back
Pulling your hair
And telling you
That she did him real good
This time
Better than you've ever done

What's the matter, Ma?
Am I being too crass
Too crude
Telling too much truth
This time?

Go
Go, please
Don't let me stop you
I'm just your son
I only love you
He's just my father
He's just a fuck-up
You refuse to divorce
Go ahead
Go get him

Go get your husband
And see if you can remember
When the last time you had to do this was
You probably won't have to think back too far

Think back on the last time
When he promised it would be
The last time
And how much he loved you
All the shit he laid on
Until you tucked him in bed
And swore to yourself
You'd leave him in the morning
When you weren't so tired

Go get your husband
Your prize
Your trophy
The envy of the neighborhood, Ma
That's you
Aren't you a success?

Oh, you don't think that
Or you didn't think
That I thought
You think that?

Huh?

I see you looking at your yearbook
At the photos of you and Dad
Prom King and Queen
All the other girls probably standing
Right out of the frame
Crying into their dresses
Because you got him
You got the handsomest boy in school
You got the winner
Didn't you?

I see that look on your face
Every time you come dragging him home
I've seen that look for years
And I wonder
Is that what you need
To tell yourself
To make it worth
Dragging him home
Time
After time
After time

Is that what it takes?
Telling yourself he's still handsome
Telling yourself he's still got those Irish eyes
That you can't help but love him
That you can't help but stand by him
That when you're listening to him tell you
That he could have married someone else
And had smarter kids
And been so much happier
It's all worth it
Because your sister's husband got fat
And your other sister's husband isn't charming
And who could be married to a fatass or a bore?

Yeah, Ma
Everybody wants what you got
So you got to protect it, right?
You got to keep your eye on the prize
Because the prize seems to like to wander

Your life is you walking around with a cage
Trying to trap Dad underneath it
It's gone past tragic
Now it's just darkly humorous
The hunter and the hunted
And believe me
It's been a thrill
From your child's point of view

Do you have any idea what it's like
Having Elmer Fudd as a mother?

Do you have any idea what it looks like
From my bedroom window
At three in the morning
Hearing you two
Coming down the street

Watching you cry?
Hearing you scream?
Smelling the slut's perfume
All around the house the next day
Because you were too tired
To put Dad's coat
In the hall closet
When you got home?

Why won't you leave?
Can you explain that to me?
Why do you keep chasing him?
What is you think is going to happen?
Do you think one day
He'll get so tired
He'll stop running?

You'll die first, Ma
You'll die before that day comes
And on that day
He won't be there
He'll be at her house
And I'll have to go get him

Think about that

No
No, you know what
I never will
I will never go get him
And you should tell him that
You should tell him
When you pick him up tonight
That he may be your husband
But he's not my father
Not anymore

So once you're gone
That's it
He can run as far as he wants
And there won't be any bungee cord
Pulling him back into stability
He can drink himself to death
And suck the stains from the sewer
But he better have something on him
Telling the police not to call me
When they find his body

I'm done with him
And I'm done with you
If you go get him

You had a husband
And you had kids
And someone should have told you
Sometimes you can't have both

I want you to stop this
I want you to stop
Making a fool of yourself
And making a fool out of me
And this family
And our lives

But hey
I'm just going to sit here
I'll sit here
And let you make your choice

Or maybe you already have
Maybe you made it a long time ago
And I'm the one fooling myself
Who knows?

Go ahead, Ma
Go do it
One last time
I'm sure this will be it

Go
Go get him
Go get your man
Your pride and joy

Go get your husband
Just don't plan on me being here
When you get back

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