Leaving Rhode Island: I.O.U.

            (JO and NANCY are at JO’s house getting ready to go out.)

JO:  So he thinks he’s coming back?

NANCY:  Mhm.

JO:  Did you tell him?

NANCY:  I told him.

JO:  What did you tell him?

NANCY:  I told him I didn’t want him back.

JO:  Is that what you said?

NANCY:  What?

JO:  Did you actually use those words?

NANCY:  No, but I inflected.

JO:  You what?

NANCY:  I inflected the words.  To mean I didn’t want him coming back.

JO:  But what did you say exactly?

NANCY:  I said, ‘You coming back?  Such a good idea.’

JO:  Oh God.

NANCY:  But see how I said it sarcastically?  ‘Such a good idea.’  I think he got the point.

JO:  Clearly he didn’t because he’s coming back.

NANCY:  That’s why I had the locks changed.

JO:  Here we go.

NANCY:  Anybody could read between the lines, Jo.

JO:  Why would somebody read between the lines when the answer they wanted was ON the line?

NANCY:  You just have to have faith.

JO:  Oh, I have faith.  I have faith that that man is going to come back here, find out you’re not in love with him anymore, and swallow a bottle of whatever you have in that medicine cabinet.

NANCY:  Well a bottle of birth control isn’t going to kill you.

JO:  You are a heinous human being.

NANCY:  Heinous?  That’s extreme.  You’re my cousin.  You’re supposed to support me.

JO:  Not when you’re acting stupid!

NANCY:  Well who needs support when they’re acting smart?

JO:  Just tell him you don’t love him anymore.

NANCY:  It’s more complicated than that.

JO:  How is it more complicated?

NANCY:  Because I don’t want to tell him.

JO:  That’s not complicated.

NANCY:  Ugh, it feels complicated.

JO:  You need to pray on this.

NANCY:  I know.

JO:  Because good men like that don’t come along every day.

NANCY:  I know.

JO:  And I borrowed money from him.

NANCY:  You—what?

JO:  Like, five years ago.  And then four years ago.  And then last week—

NANCY:  Jo!

JO:  And a couple more times.

NANCY:  You borrowed money from my boyfriend?

JO:  Fiancé!  I thought you two were going to get married!  We were going to be family.  It’s not bad if you borrow money from family.  That’s what family is for!

NANCY:  But if I don’t marry him, then he’s not family!

JO:  I know!  That’s why you need to marry him!  If you don’t marry him, I’m going to have to pay him his money back.

NANCY:  If I do marry him, that means his money is my money, and you’re definitely going to be paying that back.

JO:  Is that how you talk to your cousin who loves and supports—

NANCY:  Don’t even.

JO:  Just give me a year.

NANCY:  A year?!?

JO:  You lived with the man for a year before he got exiled!  One more year isn’t going to kill you!

NANCY:  How much did you borrow?

JO:  The first time?

NANCY:  All total!

JO:  Jesus, I’d need to call my accountant for that.

NANCY:  Why did he keep giving you money?

JO:  Because he’s a good guy.

NANCY:  No, it’s because he’s a chump.  I’m not marrying any chump.

JO:  Then just extend your engagement!  I need time to get the money.  You don’t understand how finance works.  Cash doesn’t just fall out of trees.  Do you have any idea how much Europe set me back this year?

NANCY:  You are going to return that money.

JO:  Five minutes ago you were ready to let him come home.

NANCY:  But now I can’t because then it’ll seem like I’m only letting him come back so my deadbeat cousin doesn’t have to pay back the money she borrowed!

JO:  I think you should pray on it.

NANCY:  You have lost your mind.

JO:  I’m just saying…Who’s name is on the deed to this house?

            (A beat.)

NANCY:  He is a good man.

JO:  Upstanding.

NANCY:  I don’t want to be hasty.

JO:  Just say a little prayer.

NANCY:  I’ll pray on it.

JO:  A little praying never hurt anybody.

            (Lights.)