Something to Say for Yourself

You know, the problem is
Nobody says--

'What do you have to say for yourself?'

You know, that--

That used to be an expression?

'What do you have to say for yourself?'

You know, I see all that's going on in the world
And I think you can trace all of it
Everything that's happening
Back to the fact
That nobody says--

'What do you have to say for yourself?'

The, uh--I mean, pardon my, uh--
But--The shit people get away with these days

Lying, and--

No, see--getting away with is--

The wrong, uh--way to put it, because--

Nobody's getting away with anything

We have reached a point in, uh, civilization where--

We're really good
At catching people
Doing--whatever it is
They shouldn't be doing
And yet--nobody's
Actually
Getting in trouble
For anything

You know, we--catch somebody
Lying
Cheating
Stealing

And--that's it

They apologize
Or they deny it
And we all--move on

Nobody loses their job
Nobody goes to jail
Nobody even seems embarrassed
Nobody
Seems to have the decency
To even...feel
Embarrassed
About anything

Hell, they...go on the news
And announce what they've done wrong
And then announce that they'll be running for office
Starting next week
But--

You know, it's not just politicians
We like to think that
That they're the problem
But, you know, politicians don't elect themselves

And--

Uh...

Well...

I'm only...

I know you're mad that you're sitting here
Grounded
Nobody grounds their kids anymore
Hell, my parents didn't even ground me
To be totally upfront with you, but...

I believe this is important

Not you sitting here
This is just...
The best I could do
In terms of punishment

I could always just slap you upside the head
And be done with it
But if your head is as thick as mine
When I was your age
I doubt it'll do much good

I want you to reflect
I want you to feel bad
I want you to...

And ultimately it might be pointless
Because I believe that a conscience is something
That only kicks in
After your parents have done a good job raising you
So this might all be for nothing
If I...started too late, or...

...You know, when you came to me

And told me what you did
I...

It's ridiculous, but...

You'll understand this
When you have children

There's a certain pride that comes
From having your child
Confess to you

It means that seed of a conscience is there
That it's...present
That you're on the right track

So even though, I sent you to your room
And even though I don't condone what you did
And even though I'm currently thinking up a suitable punishment
In addition to all this--uh, room-sitting
Because, let's face it, it's a really nice room
This isn't all that much of a punishment

Which means you might have to, I don't know
Rake something or mow something
Or...something uncomfortably charitable

But the point--there is a point, the point is...

You did the right thing

You came to me
And you said 'I did something wrong
And I'm sorry'

You had something to say for yourself
Which is...
A lot more than a lot of people have these days

And, you know, one day
I...won't be there
To...confess to
So that when you do something wrong
You're going to have to sit in a room
By yourself
A room just like this one
And think
About what you did
And what you're going to have to say
About what you did

And that's going to have to be enough

I always want you
To have something to say
For who you are
For what you've done
And for what you stand for

So...you might be mad at me now
And that's okay

But I want you to know that
Every time I make you sit in this room
By yourself

I'm sitting right outside that door
In case you need me, or...

Just waiting

Waiting until you're ready
To come out

So I can hear
What you have to say