Leaving Rhode Island: Movies

I left Rhode Island

And I didn’t even need a letter

Telling me to

You know why?

Because I worked at a movie theater

And one of my shifts was on Bargain Tuesdays

Every Tuesday, these little old people would line up

And all year long, they’d bitch about the weather

It’s cold, it’s cold, it’s cold

Can’t do anything, might as well see a movie

Because it’s so

Damn

Cold

And yes, in the winter, it is cold

In the Fall, it can be chilly

Even Spring has its colder moments

But we do, actually, get decent Rhode Island summers

My first summer working at the movie theater

The first hot day?

I got all excited

At the thought of not having to see that line of old people

Complaining about the weather

But there they were

‘Too hot,’ they kept saying, ‘Too hot to do anything

Might as well see a movie’

A state where a beach is literally

Within a half-hour’s driving distance

Where there are lakes and parks

And—and don’t let anybody fool you—plenty of shit to do

And here they were

Standing in line

To see a movie

I turned to my supervisor and said—

‘Why are they here?  They complain all year

About not being able to do anything

Because it’s so cold

And now finally it’s nice out

And they’re still standing here

Paying to see a movie’

And my supervisor looked at me and said—

‘They’re not paying to see a movie

They’re paying to complain

It’s Rhode Islanders’ favorite pastime

Bitch about the weather’

I quit a week later

I mean, how do you live like that?

Or, like, around people like that

Who—all they want to do is complain?

How is that entire state

Not suffering from a deep depression?

Man, I got out of there

And you know what?

I haven’t been to the movies since