(BEN
and AZRIEL are backstage at a fashion show.)
BEN: Daisy’s really
sweet, right?
AZRIEL: She is. I felt like she was really genuine.
BEN: Dude, she’s so
genuine.
AZRIEL: Dad—
BEN: Sorry. When I get nervous, everybody’s dude.
AZRIEL: Why are you
nervous? I’m not going to fall.
BEN: Don’t say it
like it’s impossible. You’ll jinx
yourself.
AZRIEL: Nobody with a
brain falls on the runway, Dad.
BEN: I fell once.
AZRIEL: Shut up.
BEN: I did.
AZRIEL: How? You’re a boy.
They don’t even make you wear heels.
BEN: They did make us
wear heels actually.
AZRIEL: You wore heels?
BEN: It was a
European designer. Afterwards, he tried
to bone me.
AZIEL: Oh
please. You think everybody wants to
bone you.
BEN: Just gay men and
straight women.
AZRIEL: You should
have practiced in the heels.
BEN: I thought I
could wing it.
AZRIEL: So you fell?
BEN: Right on my
ass. Boom! Right in front of Tom Ford.
AZRIEL: What did he
say?
BEN: I think he said ‘Nice
ass?’
AZRIEL: Oh my God.
BEN: That was
later. At some party. Back when I still did coke.
AZRIEL: Am I showing
too much leg?
BEN: It’s a leg. Who cares?
AZRIEL: You know, you
could act like a Dad for five seconds and not my manager.
BEN: It’s a leg.
AZRIEL: I’m not old
enough to be showing this much skin.
BEN: Then you’re in
the wrong business.
AZRIEL: They want me
to do Cody’s show next week.
BEN: No way.
AZRIEL: Yeah, they
called Sharon today about it.
BEN: Why didn’t they
call me?
AZRIEL: Because I’m
eighteen now. They don’t have to call
you. Anyway, you were taking a nap like
an old person.
BEN: Napping is good
for your skin.
AZRIEL: Whatever, I’m
not doing it anyway.
BEN: What are you talking
about? Of course you’re doing it. Cody’s the hottest designer in New York right
now.
AZRIEL: Yeah, he’s
also a rapist.
BEN: Az—
AZRIEL: You want me
to work with a rapist?
BEN: Those are
unsubstantiated claims.
AZRIEL: From, like, twelve
different women.
BEN: Models. All models.
AZRIEL: What does
that have to do with anything?
BEN: It means—You know
Cody’s gay, right?
AZRIEL: No, he’s not.
BEN: Yes, he is. I have it on good authority.
AZRIEL: Why? Has he hit on you too?
BEN: I get a vibe
from him.
AZRIEL: You can’t get
a vibe. You’re straight. How would you get a vibe?
BEN: There’s a vibe,
and I’m getting it. You don’t get it?
AZRIEL: No. The only vibe I get off him is ‘creepy rapist
guy.’
BEN: Look, I’ll go
with you to the fitting—
AZRIEL: You’re
unbelievable.
BEN: --And any other
meetings you have to go to. You’ll never
be alone with him, okay?
AZRIEL: No, not
okay. It’s the principle of the thing,
Dad, God!
BEN: Principles and
paychecks have nothing to do with each other.
AZRIEL: Fine. I’ll take the job. Are you happy?
BEN: I’m just looking
out for you.
AZRIEL: You’re just making
sure I can keep you on the payroll.
BEN: Hey, I don’t
need you to keep me on anything. I make
my own money.
AZRIEL: What was the
last gig you booked?
BEN: Oh don’t be a
bitch about it, okay?
AZRIEL: Seriously,
though.
BEN: You know things
get tight after thirty.
AZRIEL: You keep
using that excuse. You don’t even look
thirty.
BEN: First off, thank
you very much. Second of all, that’s
because I take naps. And third of all, it’s
not an excuse and you’ll see that when you turn thirty.
AZRIEL: By the time,
I’m thirty, I’ll have the acting thing off the ground.
BEN: The fact that
you call it ‘the acting thing’ shows how serious you are about it.
AZRIEL: I’m, like,
completely serious about it.
BEN: And you think it’s
that much easier to be an actress when you get older? C’mon now.
AZRIEL: The agency
wanted to take you on full time. You
should have accepted their offer—or at least entertained the idea of accepting
it.
BEN: They want me to
do a desk job, Azriel. That’s not who I
am. I’m a model.
AZRIEL: You’re a
model who doesn’t model, Dad. It’s
pathetic.
(A
beat.)
AZRIEL: I’m
sorry. That was really mean.
BEN: Whatever, it’s
true.
AZRIEL: I’m just
frustrated, because you’re turning down stuff just because it’s—
BEN: What—you mean
Old Navy? You want me to model for Old
Navy? What am I? A fucking Canadian?
AZRIEL: I want you to
be happy. Seriously. That’s all I want.
BEN: It’ll make me
happy to see you do well.
AZRIEL: Oh, don’t
give me that selfless parent bullshit.
BEN: It’s true.
AZRIEL: Okay, well, I
appreciate that, but you need to have your own life too. It’s not like you’re breastfeeding me. I’m on my own now. I’m doing my own thing.
BEN: So what—I’ve
just been holding you back?
AZRIEL: No, if
anything, maybe I held you back.
BEN: You never held me
back.
AZRIEL: You could be
married to Scarlett Johansson.
BEN: Hey, she loved
you. It was me she couldn’t stand.
AZRIEL: You know, the
job at the agency isn’t technically a desk job—
BEN: Az—
AZRIEL: It’s
not. You’d be in charge of looking for
new talent.
BEN: New me’s. How depressing is that?
AZRIEL: Not as
depressing as trying to be the old you.
(A
beat.)
AZRIEL: Dad, it’s—
BEN: I’ll call Sharon
tomorrow.
AZRIEL: Yeah?
BEN: Yeah.
AZRIEL: Thank you. You’ve made your daughter very happy right
before she has to walk out onto the runway looking like a three-dollar whore.
BEN: Aw, sweetie—
(He
gives her a hug.)
--You look way cheaper than that.
(She
slaps him.)
AZRIEL: This is an
unhealthy relationship. We need to go
back to therapy.
BEN: We can’t.
AZRIEL: Why not?
BEN: I slept with our
therapist.
AZRIEL: Dr.
Fisher? But she was married!
BEN: Not anymore she’s
not.
AZRIEL: No wonder she
always said I was the problem.
BEN: Before you go
out, you need to fix your lipstick. They
don’t want it that prominent.
AZRIEL: Okay.
BEN: And keep your
hands in your pockets. That’s the look
right now.
AZRIEL: I thought we
weren’t doing that anymore?
BEN: No, we’re still
doing it, it’s just that pockets were out for awhile.
AZRIEL: Okay.
BEN: But now they’re
back, so—
AZRIEL: Okay,
okay. I got it.
(A
beat.)
BEN: You look great.
AZRIEL: Chip off the
old block, right?
BEN: You’re better at
this than I was.
(A
beat.)
You know that right?
AZRIEL: Oh Daddy.
(She
gives him a kiss on the cheek.)
I learned from the best.
(She
gives him a smile and exits. Lights.)
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