Love, or A Lack of Anything Better To Do

I fell in love

For lack of anything

Better to do

I had gone to make myself

Dinner

And there was nothing

In the fridge

So I took a moment

And decided

That falling in love

Would be easier

It would be easier

Than going to the store

Easier than buying food
Easier than impulse-purchasing

A coconut that would sit in my fridge

In the bottom drawer

Taunting me

Knowing I would never consume it

But would throw it out

And then feel guilty

For wasting food

When so many people in the world today

Are starving

It would be easier

Than eating out

Because I eat out too much

And I spend too much money

And I’m alone

I’m alone and that means

My money is mine

And I have no access

To any other money

Made by anybody else

Not even my parents

Who are wealthy

But who require me to call them
And listen to them talk about

Golf and sciatica

If I want their money

And it’s easier to just spend my own

Whatever little there is of it

It was easier to fall in love

Than think about making plans

With friends

Friends I’m not friendly with

Friends I’m not a good friend to

Friends who require things of me

That I have to imagine

Love would not

I’ve been in love before

And I remember it being distressing

But I don’t remember it well

And I think that’s why

People keep going back

To the well

The pain my friendships have wrought

Are easy to remember

Because the friends are still there

And we act like the hurt we’ve inflicted

Has made us better friends

When really it just means

We’ve bought into the Stockholm Syndrome

That is human interaction

Without sex involved

Sex is easy
I miss sex

They should sell sex

At the supermarket

Instead of coconuts

Sex would not be left

Sitting at the bottom

Of my refrigerator

I can promise you

That much

I fell in love

Because next to my bed

Is a book I never read

And in the bedroom closet

There are clothes
I never wear

And the clothes have tags on them
And I won’t return them

Because I’d have to go to the store

And I don’t want to go to the store

To return things

Only to get new things

Returning things

Feels like a failure

A failure on my part

To lose the weight

To fit into the clothes
That have the tags on them

And love is easier

I fell in love

Because I made a decision

To fall in love

And that was simple

And I had nothing else to do

That was better

Than having someone come over

And play house

And hold me

And make me feel like
I’m worth

An hour or two

What comes after love

Won’t be better

Than anything
And I wish life

Wasn’t made up

Of extremes

But until that changes

I’m going to have to keep taking

The best offer on the table

I guess I’m just not sure

What else

To do