The Pirate Farm

Y’ar I’ll be telling you

I be sick of waking meself

In the morn

To milk the goats

Ya got Peg Leg

Sleeping in

Every dern day

Up in the hayloft

And Silver Dollar

Sayin’ he can’t

Get too close

To the goat

For he be allergic

That leaves me

Doin’ the milkin’

And the tendin’

To the piggies

Because Silver

Says he’s allergic

To da piggies as well

And all the while

Peg Leg’s snorin’ away

And I’ve had

Just about enough of it all

When we three

Agreed

To abandon the sea

And pledge our lives

To running a farm

‘Twas ‘posed to be

Fifty-fifty-fifty

Lo and behold

I’m stuck with two

Of the laziest

Sleepiest

Dirtiest pirates

Ya ever did see

When we was on the boat

Peg Leg said

He couldn’t get the stench off him

Because of the showering facilities

Being less than stellar

‘Twas true then

But what be his excuse now?

Now that we have

A fine shower

And fine soap

And fine towels

That only I seem

To be putting out on the line

To dry

On the weekends

For wouldn’t you know

These lilly-livered scallywags

Can’t seem to be bothered

To do the laundry

Why, if I wasn’t cookin’ up

A hearty stew every night

I doubt we’d even be eatin’

At all

I’ve seen Silver Dollar

Run a sword

Through a man or three

Without thinkin’ twice

About it

But ask him

To butcher one chicken
And suddenly
He’s blubberin’

Like a misty-frost

Callin the winged thing ‘Milton’

And beggin’ me

To cook cabbage for dinner instead

Leave it to me

To pick the weak-hearted ones

When it comes to birdies

And four-hooves

I told Silver Dollar

If the harvest be bad this year

I’m eyein’ that parrot

Sittin’ atop his shoulder

And I won’t hear

Two weeps about it

But I can’t say

The three of us

Don’t have no fun

At night, we sit on the porch

And listen for the ocean

That we know’s

Too far to hear

We tell stories

Of the sea

And stories of the us

That used

To travel it

A man can’t float forever

Soon enough

He needs solid ground

Under his toes

And a horizon

That travels far

And never

Shows you waves

The morning next

You’ll be milkin’

The goat again

But at least

As you’re doing it

You can sing a shanty

To yourself

While your two

Lumpy housemates

Slumber

And suddenly

You’ll taste salt

On your tongue

And hear a gull caw

At something approachin’

It hasn’t forgotten you

It’s just lettin’ you

Be

Where

You’ll be