We Used to Joke About Imaginary People

We used to joke

About imaginary people

You’d bring up

That woman we don’t like

And I’d make fun of her

Do her voice

The way she talks

And she wasn’t real

And you didn’t know

What I was doing

And you’d laugh
Because you were just so happy

To find me so happy

When so often

You’d find me...

Elsewhere

You used to complain

About the man

We saw once

At that restaurant

We didn't like

Yelling at the waiter

He was real

The man--and the waiter

But not real

The man--not the waiter

He wasn't real

Because all we knew about him

--The man

Was that he was a man

Who yelled at a waiter one time

But for years

We would bring him up

And lambaste him

Coral him into our corner

Of obscenities

And throw things

At each other

Saying it was all

Meant

For him

That it really

Had nothing to do

With us

The couple who slept

Next door to us

At that campsite

The one time

We tried to go camping

Became our best friends

And we’d talk

About finding them somehow

Even though

We didn’t know their names

We told ourselves

That one day

We’d track them down

And convince them

That we should do things together

Couple things together

But no more camping

Because that didn’t

Work out so well, did it?

There were the two young girls

We saw running

Down the beach

That summer you made us

Take care of your mother

They could have been our daughters

If we had decided to have kids

And if those kids had been daughters

And if you hadn't started getting angry

For no reason at all

And then if we split up

Those imaginary daughters

Could have been divided as well

But our divorce would have been amicable

Even though our relationship never was

I would’ve wanted the daughter

With the lighter hair

She seemed kind

But I don’t know her

...And I guess that’s kind of the point

You would tell jokes

About people you went to high school with
Even though you were home-schooled

And your mother told me one day

While I was giving her a bath

That you didn’t have any friends

But none of it was a lie

Because we agreed

They were stories

And we both knew

They were false

And that all stories

Are false

Even the ones

You can agree on

Our stories were created

To make us feel better

About how infrequently

We spoke with other people

Or addressed other people

Or even made ourselves

Look at other people

Or even…

Or even each other

I made up an imaginary woman

I would leave you for

She wasn’t as nice to me

As you were

And in fact

She was really very mean

And called me ugly

And she spit on me once

And I used to shower

And think about her

And so...so strongly desire…

Something

I wasn’t interested

In being treated badly

I just wanted

Something

But I wanted to see

How bad I could make

My nightmares

Until they stopped seeming

Preferable

To my actual

Life

Then I’d get out of the shower

And you’d be on the computer

Telling me about

How you think

You might have found

That couple from the campsite

And maybe if you messaged them

And they messaged you back

We could all get dinner

Provided they weren’t millions of miles away

I told you that was nice

And I went into the bedroom

And I opened up all the windows

And I threw the towel out one of the windows

And I laid down on the bed

And I tried to breathe deep

Deeply, deeply

I tried to think

Of what to do next

And I couldn’t imagine

What that next thing

Could be