(BLUE and RED are sitting in a tree, chatting.)
BLUE: What do you think of the new beak?
RED: Can I tell you?
BLUE: I know what you're going to say.
RED: I am OBSESSED with the new beak.
BLUE: Is it not amazing?
RED: So much better for pecking at things.
BLUE: I love a man who can peck.
RED: If a man can't peck, I don't want him.
BLUE: What am I going to do with a stubby beak?
RED: You think you're coming near me with a stubby beak? I don't think so.
BLUE: I don't think so.
RED: I don't think so, mister.
BLUE: I don't think so.
RED: Only took two hundred years for evolution to even that out for us.
BLUE: What a time to be alive. Imagine our great-great-great grandmothers. Our poor great-great-great grandmothers. Having no choice but to procreate with stubby-beaked birds.
RED: And the tails.
BLUE: What about the tails?
RED: The tails used to be grey and white.
BLUE: Grey and white?
RED: Yes!
BLUE: Who the hell wants to procreate with a grey and white-tailed bird?
RED: You had no choice. Two thousand years ago, you had no choice.
BLUE: That's probably why all those species died out.
RED: I wouldn't be surprised.
BLUE: Because if you think I would procreate with a plain-tailed bird--
RED: How do you even feel like it?
BLUE: I mean, to keep the species alive I guess--
RED: Even then, I think I'd have a hard time.
BLUE: It's so much better now with all the colors.
RED: You know, Robin procreated with a male who had a purple streak in his tail.
BLUE: You're kidding me.
RED: Dead serious.
BLUE: Go Robin!
RED: Got a nice wingspan, too.
BLUE: The ones with the nice tails always do.
RED: But you can't do anything about the talons.
BLUE: That's just something you learn to live with, I guess.
RED: Or maybe they'll change. You know, if it keeps being unattractive to the females, eventually it'll fade out.
BLUE: We'll be long dead by then.
RED: I know.
BLUE We can't be greedy. We already got the nice beaks.
RED: And the tails.
BLUE: We can put up with the talons.
RED: Yeah.
(A beat.)
But our great-great-great granddaughters won't have to.
BLUE: I know.
RED: Lucky girls.
BLUE: They'll never know how lucky they are.
End of Play
No comments:
Post a Comment