Saturday, August 1, 2020

With My Brother By My Side

My brother passed away

On a cold night

In March


They told me

That if either of us died

The other would have a few hours

Before they also…


I had a few hours


I woke up

I couldn’t wake him up

My nephew would come

To check on us


His house was next to ours

My youngest daughter’s house

Was also nearby


We always kept

Our family nearby


My nephew knew right away

That his father was gone

But he couldn’t cry

Or cry out

Or…


He had to deal with me


People were sent out

All over town
And the family gathered

At the bedside


My brother’s body

It was…


It was already cold

Next to me


We were formed

At the liver

And so I’ve spent

Much of my life

Memorizing the face

Of my brother


I always thought
I would go first


Or maybe it was hope

Maybe I hoped I would


The toxins in his corpse

Were seeping

Into my body


I felt my life

Being pulled out of me

And I thought

How interesting it is

That life is pulled

Towards death


I suppose we’re all pulled

One way or another

Towards the next step

Of our existence


As the family surrounded me

One by one

They all took turns

Wishing me luck

Holding my hand

My wife…


My wife took it hard

And I understand


But my brother’s wife

Stood in the back

While her son

Held her hand


She didn’t get

To say goodbye

And I’m sorry

About that


The doctors always said

It would be five hours

If one of us died

Before the other

Joined him


I got six


Isn’t that nice?

An extra hour


I closed my eyes

And that was that


Some see the whole thing

As being ghastly


Dying with your dead brother

Attached to you


But that’s how I lived


It’s how we both lived


They offered to separate us

Many times

And when we said ‘No’

People thought

It was because

Of the danger

The…


I didn’t want to live

Any other way


I know that might be

Difficult to understand

But that’s how it was


I always wanted him

By my side

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