What to Do When the Cockatoo Could Be Telling the Truth

 The cockatoo is telling me

That I could be murdered soon

He’s saying

There’s a murderer

In the house

Now, he’s a relatively new cockatoo

And truthfully

I didn’t even know

If cockatoos could speak

When I got him

Are they like parrots?

Or is this a magical cockatoo

Who has the ability to tell

When there’s a killer nearby?

I don’t know

I called the pet store

They told me

Maybe I should just leave the house

And call the police

But the whole thing

Could just be something

The cockatoo’s previous owner

Taught him to say

As a joke or something

That being said, I did notice

Bloody footprints

Going in and out

Of my basement

And several chocolate bars missing

From the candy drawer

The cockatoo was squawking

Every night

About this supposed murderer

But every night

I’d put my earplugs in

And go to bed

And every morning

I’d wake up

Not murdered

So I sort of assumed

That either this was

Poorly learned behavior

Or you just can’t trust

A cockatoo

But then my girlfriend tells me

That sometimes murderers

Hide out in your house

For weeks

Before they kill you

And that I shouldn’t assume

I’m safe just yet

Except now

The cockatoo has gotten

Pretty quiet

And I’m wondering

If it saw the murderer leaving

Or if it just got sick of me

Ignoring its warnings

I stand near its cage

And ask it

To repeat the word ‘murderer’

Deciding that if it does

I will pack up my things

And leave

In a day or two

But the cockatoo

Says nothing to me

Only pecking at its birdseed

And whispering

What sounds like ‘Too late now’

But that could be

My imagination

Without hard data

And with no further input

From my pet

I can’t justify

Uprooting my entire life

At this moment

Yes, there are more and more

Bloody footprints

Popping up all over the house

And some handprints

Yes, several of my knives

Have gone missing

And I’m now getting ominous notes

Telling me that quote-- ‘I’m next’

But it doesn’t say next for what

So I’m trying not to read

Too much into it

Who could be leaving me

These notes?

I mean, I leave my doors unlocked

And my windows open

All day and night

So who knows

Who’s been coming in and out

And whether any of them

Are planning to murder me

Believe it or not,

I aggravate a lot of people

But to the point of murder?

I don’t know about that

I just wish that I could somehow

Label my candy drawer

As off-limits

In all of this

Death is one thing

But a man should be allowed

The guarantee of candy

I don’t think

That’s too much

To ask

Do you?