Too Much, Too Far, Too Long, Too Late

 I would sit in the office

When he wasn’t there

With the gown on

That had been selected

For me to wear

My feet up

My expensive, but sensible shoes

Thrown on the rug

The complicated things

About choosing shoes

When you’re a public figure

Is that they need to look beautiful

But not decadent

Or you seem insensitive

I envy Marcos

Who said ‘To hell with it’

And just acknowledged

That yes, we’re all filthy rich

My favorite times

Were the times

When I was alone

In that office

Pretending I was writing a speech

All about my husband

The man he was

And how I would miss him

And how we all needed

To carry on

In his name

He’s still alive, of course

He’ll never die

My mind’s eye cannot picture

My life without him

And I have quite

The imagination

Which means

It must be more likely

That I’ll go first

And he’ll mourn me

And probably get a nice bump

In public opinion over it

It’s enough to make me

Do the unthinkable

Divorce him

Everyone thinks

I stay because of political reasons

But anyone paying attention would see

That I lost political ambitions

Quite some time ago

No, I’ve just put too much in

Too much time

Too much attention

Too much, too far

Too long, too late

What would the first day

After all of this look like?

I’m sure it would be

A hoot

But then the day passes

Then a week

Then a month

And you’re alone

I don’t mind being alone

But I don’t want to be alone

And have people thinking

That I mind being alone

Everyone here says

It’s important that you not care

What people think of you

I never bothered

Pretending not to care

What people think

I care very much

Because I’ve--

I’ve spent so much of my life

Catering to other people

And, you know, like my marriage

I’m in too deep

To stop caring now

It’s like when you put on

A pair of shoes for the evening

And ten minutes in

You realize your feet

Are going to be killing you

If you keep them on

You keep them on

What choice do you have?

It’s not that you can’t throw on

Another pair

Before you leave

Put on something

More sensible

But these shoes

Are worth

So much

And pain?

I’ve found over the years

That pain isn’t worth

Paying attention to

There are so many other things

Worth your undivided

Attention