Twisted Elegance

 I’m going to keep you

On the other side

Of my later nights

I’m going to trust you

To wait

Until I say

It’s okay

To bury me

Up to my chest

With all your IOU’s

I’m going to try

To find another compliment

While I try on

The suit that wouldn’t fit

The name that didn’t

Ring a bell

The loss that felt

Like exponential

Addition

I’m all twisted up

In what looks like

Trash

But wears

Like elegance

Sweat wouldn’t stain

Dirt wouldn’t cling

Storms wouldn’t

Make a noise

The best of me

Can tie a tie

The worst of me

Can tie you up

And leave you

See how long

I can stay away

Before the worry

Works me down

The blindfold too tight

The binding too loose

The words you say

Too wrong

It’s interesting to try

And find a balance

Between lyrical

And profane

I saw the rope marks

On your back

And they looked

Like they were red

The welts they left

That you said

Didn’t hurt

Because you couldn’t hurt

If you never felt

Ecstasy first

I see the first cloud

In the bedroom mirror

Hidden only

By the construction paper

With hangman games on it

You asked

If I could wait

Until tomorrow

Before I kicked you out

Because someone was

Running around at night

Telling people

That the world was ending

And if you hear it

You might believe it

I put you up in the guest room

On sheets you’re not allowed

To sweat on

With pillows you can scream into

And nobody will hear

I shut the door

And say
I’ll see you

In the morning

To have only a wall between us

And know that there was so much

I could have explored

That I left out

To go bad

Because I couldn’t

Risk you thinking

I wanted a Tuesday from you

Or a Wednesday

Or a Thursday night

I only give people

The version of me

That’s too tired

To pretend

They don’t like

To control

I bind my hands

Before I sleep

And when I wake up

I’ll forget

Who did it to me

I’ll forget

That I was the one

Restraining

I’ll forget

That I was the one

Who didn’t want

To move