Play The Backstreet Boys

I have to give you some advice
So here it goes--

Play the Backstreet Boys

Wait, wait, wait

Hear me out

I was a huge, shameless
Some might say 'foolhardy'
Backstreet Boys fan

I believed
And still believe
That no band
Boy or otherwise
Has ever achieved
The kind of pop culture synergy
That BSB achieved

And if I hear anybody say N 'Sync
I'm going to have to ask you
To leave immediately

There's nothing wrong with N 'Sync
There's just so much more right
With the Backstreet Boys

For one thing
None of their best songs
Made any sense

In fact, the more popular the song
The less sense it made

'Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely'
'The Call'

And, of course, 'I Want It That Way'

To this day
I have no idea
Exactly what way they want it
Or what it is
But I do
That song takes me back

It takes me back to high school
Like pre-everything-went-to-hell-high school
Or at least pre-me-noticing-everything-went-to-hell-high-school

It makes me remember school dances
And sneaking into rated-R movies
And having crushes on girls

Wow, that was a long time ago

Good music
Especially good pop music
Should take you back to a time
When you didn't know how screwed up everything was

And what it should remind you
Is that things might be even more screwed up than you know
So celebrate the fact
That you're blissfully ignorant
And you don't even know it
Which I guess is sort of the point

And it doesn't have to be a 90's pop band
It could be Herman's Hermits
Or Dexy's Midnight Runners
Or Lisa Lisa
Or Justin B--

No, I'm sorry
I can't say it

Play the Backstreet Boys
Do the dance moves
In the privacy of your living room
Or the mall food court...

And remember when the small stuff
Was the only stuff
Larger than life