We were allowed
To say bad words
As kids
It just wasn’t a hill
My parents
Felt like dying on
I don’t know
When they decided that
But it was always just something
We knew we wouldn’t get in trouble for
Provided we only did it
In front of our parents
It’s strange how, like, you’re so intuitive
To that kind of stuff
Those rules
When you’re young
When you’re a kid
You don’t remember explanations
You just remember these guiding moments
Where you were lead to this understanding
Of what was unacceptable
And what wasn’t
And, you know, I think
My parents just weren’t into
Worrying about
How they spoke in front of us
And they were--
They hated hypocrites
They really did
So maybe they felt like--
Well, if we’re going to swear
I guess the kids are going to be allowed to
And the funny part is--
It’s not really something
We took advantage of
I barely ever swore
And neither did my two sisters
And to this day
I really don’t mind hearing it
Even from my own kids
But it seems like they swear
Even less than I did
It’s like this rule of parenting
That everybody understands
But not everybody wants to put in place
Which is, uh, you know--
Kids want to rebel
The less you give them to rebel against
The less shit you actually have to deal with
Oh see, I just swore
But I promise it doesn’t happen
All that often
When my grandmother died
I remember my little sister
My baby sister
Taking it the hardest of any of us
Because she was named
After my grandmother
And they were always really close
All of us were sitting out
On the patio
And my sister my just screaming
Every bad word
She could think of
All of them
Some of them I hadn’t even heard before
And my parents were there
And they were holding her
And she was crying
And screaming those words
And the neighbors could probably hear
Every one of them
But she just kept going and going
And that was all right
My parents weren’t worried
About what she was saying
They were worried
About the little girl in their arms
Who just lost something
Precious to her
Who was trying to deal
With this unbearable grief
In whatever way
Felt natural to her
As ugly
And loud
And angry
As it was
They just let her do it
I lost my parents a few years back
Within just a couple months of each other
I remember a lot of great things about them
But I have to tell you
The best thing I remember
Is them holding my little sister
While she screamed “Fuuuuuuuuuuck”
At the top of her lungs
While they just held her
And held her
And held her
Like no matter what she did
Or said
They were never
Going to let go
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