The Real Slim Shady

We were really into

Eminem

At the same time

The two of us

We, uh--

It’s funny

Because

Now

I guess

You would say--

Well, was it overcompensating

Or something?

Uh, and I don’t think

That was it

We were both, uh--

We didn’t dislike gay people

Obviously

Obviously I wasn’t--

Although

I guess

You could say--

Self-hating?

You could say that

Except I don’t think I was

I think--

I think I sort of knew about

This part of myself

And I just--

Uh

I just didn’t acknowledge it?

But I wouldn’t say
I really

Denied it

There was just--

You know, it was like--

It was like if I had a birthmark

I didn’t show people

But it’s somewhere on my body

Where you can’t see

Unless I’m--

It’s like--

Just because you don’t go around

Telling people about it

Doesn’t mean you’re ashamed of it

You just--

You just can’t see it

But, uh, I don’t think he--

I don’t think he had a problem

With gay people either

But, uh, we would talk about that

About how Eminem--

About how we didn’t think

He had a problem with them either

And that it was all--

That it was this big show

This big, like, way of reflecting

A type of person

That a kind of music attracts

And then sort of picking that person apart

Because, uh, I mean, Emimem

Was so subversive, and like--

So proud about it

It just seemed so clear to us

That he wouldn’t just be, you know

Sexist and homophobic

And put forth all this stuff

If there wasn’t a sort of--

No, I’m not really that

There’s another layer here

Like, if that wasn’t going on?

We went to his concert

And afterwards

When we were leaving

There was this charge, you know?

Like, more than just

The kind of energy you feel

After a concert

Like, this--

We were driving home

Blasting the music

We were just listening to live

And, uh, I don’t know how it happened, but--

He put his hand on my hand

He was driving and he reached over, and he--

He just put his hand there

And it was--

Nothing like that

Ever happened again

Between us

But, uh--

I keep thinking

One day

Maybe I’ll contact him

I keep saying

One day

That’s what I’m

Going to do