Eleven Great Aunts

My grandfather had eleven sisters

And, I think, one brother?

No, he definitely had a brother

But he died before I could meet him

In the way

No idea which war

But a war

I know it was a war

And that’s sad

Obviously

But that’s not what we’re--

He had eleven sisters

And every year

When I was growing up--

They were all very old

Like, they were older than him

My grandfather

He was, like, younger by--

I don’t know

Fifteen years

Something crazy

He was an unexpected baby

And, um--

So by the time I was born

He was already, um, older

And they--the sisters--

Were quite old

Very old, um, and--

So every year

Growing up

One of them

Would die

At least, that’s how it seemed

To me

As a kid

And every time that would happen

My mom would be like--

You know, understandably, upset

She loved her aunts

But she would give me the news

With all this, uh, intensity

And, like, sit me down sometimes

And tell me about Aunt So-and-So

Who passed away

And she would have me call my grandfather

To, um, check in on him

Which I was fine with, obviously

But honestly

Everyone--she and everyone--

Would tell me about the aunt passing away

Whatever aunt it was at the time

And act as if I knew who she was talking about

I mean, we would go over

To my grandfather’s house

And there would be--no exaggeration

Like, if it was a party or something

Or a barbecue

There would be a hundred people there

And one of those people

Or eleven of those people

Would be the aunts

But I didn’t know who they were

I’m sure I was introduced to them

Or maybe I wasn’t

Because people think kids just know
Who everyone in the family is

Because they’re family

And so when they would say--

Oh, Aunt So-and-So died

I would be like--

Oh, that’s sad

Because I knew I had to be sad

But I had no idea

Who they were talking about

I’m sure at some point

I noticed there were less aunts

But there were still uncles

And cousins

And frankly

When you’re young

And have the beginnings

Of social anxiety disorder

A few less people

Can’t help but make you feel better

But now I think about it, and like--

I love my aunt

She’s amazing

And one day

She won’t be here

And I look at my nephew

And I wonder

Is he going to care?

When she’s not there anymore?
Will it matter to him?

All these people who mean so much to us

Are going to overlap

With other people who mean a lot to us

And yet

In a very real way

It’s going to be, if not impossible,

Very difficult

For them to mean something

To each other

And, uh....

I gotta be honest

That breaks my heart

It really does