So...
I think she wanted to have sex with me
But I'm not really sure
She asked if I liked skiing
Skiing, which, I was sure
Meant, do you like sex?
Because skiing is, you know
Poles
Thrusting
Going down...mountains
Snow
Which is, you know, sensual
And while I was thinking about
How to respond to the skiing question
She followed up with telling me
How she had just had this amazing lasagna
At an Italian restaurant downtown
Lasagna
Sauce
Gooey
Delicious
Italians
Passionate
Operas
She was telling me
That she's a very sexual person
Who enjoys the opera
So far I'm following her no problem
But here's where she threw me for a loop
She looked me in the eye
Grabbed my leg
And said--'I want you'
Man, I was totally confused
Like, what the hell does that mean?
I became totally lost in the innuendo
She wants me?
Wants me to do what?
I mean, when I say 'I want you' to a girl
It means, you know, I want to--ski with them
But what does it mean when she says it?
It can't mean the same thing, right?
Girls just don't blurt out
That they want to have sex with you
That would be messed up, right?
Then she says--'So do you want to do it?'
And I'm thinking, do what?
Eat, maybe?
Is she hungry?
Does she want to eat?
So I ask if her if she's hungry
And she said--
'No, I got full on the lasagna.'
Which I took to mean
She already had sex with someone else
And I was like--what the hell?
Finally, I got so confused
I just got up and walked out
She texted me that night
Asking if she'd said something wrong
I texted her back with--
'I don't know what you said! That's the problem!'
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