The Queen of Bernard Street

Hey, don't let me forget somethin'

Don't let me forget
I gotta heat up
Robbie's meatloaf
Before he gets home

I don't know
He went to some poker game or somethin'
I didn't even know he knew how to play
But tonight he tells me
He's goin' to a poker game
So I say all right
Go to your game

Glad to have him out of the house

He'll come home and want that meatloaf
And that's why he's so fuckin' fat
Because he eats dinner at midnight

You can't eat that late
It fucks up your digestive system
They teach you that, you know

That's why I'm so skinny
Because I don't eat nothin'
After noon

But I don't have much of an appetite
Watchin' Robbie scarf down shit every night anyway

Now you know what gives me an appetite?

I got a man

Haha...that's right

Don't look so shocked

Girl's gotta keep her tits perky for somebody, right?

Robbie don't even know I have 'em anymore

The other day I changed in front of him
Cause I don't give a shit, right?

And he does a double take

I say 'what the hell?'

He says 'they look good'

And I realize he hasn't seen 'em in years
Which isn't even my fault

He could care less

Fuckin' prick

Thank god for the other guy
Otherwise I wouldn't even know
I was a woman anymore

Huh?

No, that ain't the guy I make Filet Mignon for
That's just some chump who thinks he's slick
Came over a few times
Ate my meat
And fucked like it was his first time on the job

He's good for a laugh
But he ain't my man

My man is a prince
And I'm his queen

He takes me out to places
Robbie don't even know about

Not like that dive bar
Where I met Filet Mignon

No, real places
Like ballrooms
And jazz clubs
And restaurants where the prices
Aren't even on the menus

He's so rich
He doesn't even need to know
How much things cost

And when we go out
People look at me
Like they're jealous of me

I never had anybody look at me that way
In my entire life

But that's how they look at me now
Like they know I'm the queen
And not of Bernard Street either
Where you're a celebrity
If you get yourself on the news
Talkin' about seein' a guy you know
Get beat up outside the Cumberland Farms

I'm walking around
Like I belong walking
Not crawling
Not on my knees
Not stuck in sidewalks
Waiting for somebody to dig me out

All you need is a good man's hand
To get you up out of the gutter

And my man's got two of those
One to lift me up
And one to put around me
While we dance

And I know what people call me
And I know what I call myself
And I know which one suits me better

You know why I'm the queen?

Because queens know who they are
And they know what they deserve
And they don't answer to anybody

That's how you gotta live nowadays

Because if you let other people
Tell you what you are
They're going to tell you a lie

So you tell 'em
You tell 'em you're the queen
And then you walk around
Like there's a crown on your head
And they won't say shit

That's my lesson for the day

Now if you'll excuse me

I've got some dried out meatloaf
To heat up in the microwave

For that fat fuck I'm just a wife
But for my man?

I'm a queen