Half a Butterfly

I'm evolving now, you see?

I'm a carriage
Maybe not golden
Maybe more like silver
Maybe more like rust
But at least I'm still not just a pumpkin
And that's the problem, pumpkin
I grew four wheels
And a pretty plush seat
But you're still the same

I'm a swan
With ruffled feathers
And a quack
From two years ago
But at least I know
I did something to myself
I brought myself up, a little
Or to the side, who knows?
But you?

You're still the same

I'm a monkey with thumbs
I'm a butterfly, even if I'm one with one wing
I'm a teapot with the spout taped back on

With the cheap tape, too

But I'm trying, you know?
And I'm winning
Winning in inches
But still winning

And I look at you
And you're missing your thumbs
You're a caterpillar
You're broken
And you don't even care
That's what kills me
You don't even care
That you're exactly the same
As you were
Two years ago

And what am I supposed to do, huh?

Stop myself?
Pull myself back?

You think I don't hear your friends saying--

'She thinks she's too good for you now
Too good for all of us.'

Why?

Because I got sick of looking
At the same shit
Day after day
Week after week
With nothing telling me
That we were headed towards something?

Didn't you notice?
Didn't you notice me
Pushing, and kicking
And trying

Trying to grow
Into somebody else?

I think...

I think you did

And you thought
That whoever I turned out to be
Was going to love you anyway

Well...

That was a risk
I'm not sure
You should have taken

Because even though I'm only
Half a butterfly
That's still halfway towards being something
Other than what I've been
These past few years

And once this other wing comes in
I'm flying, baby

I'm flying right out of here