Learn to Love Me Crazy

If you're not going to love me this way
Then leave

I'm not going to fit
In your way

I'm not comfortable
In your way

Under your terms
Your conditions
Your hope

Your hope is so heavy
At night I see it
The word
Written on a pillow
Coming down over my face
Smothering me
To death
With expectation

Hope is just a nicer word
For denial

You are denying
The situation

I am not
Going
To get
Better

So I wish
You would stop hoping
For better

Better is now negotiable
We must now expect different things
From life
From the future
From each other

If you can't do that
If you won't do that
If you're unable to do that

Then leave

I don't need somebody sitting around
Trying to come up
With different facial expressions
That represent emotions
That aren't real

Like joy

I've accepted the fact
That I may never feel
Or see
Or experience
Joy
Again

And I'm okay with that

I mean, I'm obviously not okay with it
But I am accepting of it

Because it is not going to change

You may hate the fact
That the sky is blue
But the sky doesn't give a damn

My disease
This thing inside me
That's making me crazy

It doesn't give a damn
What you think of it

I no longer give a damn
What you think of it

I just need you to address it

Don't turn it into a symbol
Into something you think
We can defeat

We cannot defeat this
We have to live with this
We have to figure out a way
To adapt to this

This, as they say, is it

I am sorry
That the parameters
Of this relationship
Have changed

But then again
Isn't that the point of marriage?

To find someone stupid enough
To say they'll love
All the people you're going to be
Throughout your life
Regardless of whether or not
Some of them turn out to be ugly
Or poor
Or cruel

...Or crazy?

I feel like once you say 'I do'
You spend the rest of your life
Learning to love
All the people
You didn't know you married

And, you know, maybe it's naive
To think that you're going to be able
To love all those people

Maybe it's silly, or unfair even
To think that one day
The person you married
Will turn into someone
That you simply cannot bear
To be with

Maybe that's what's happening here

Maybe I've become someone
You can't love anymore

Or maybe I'm wrong

Could I be wrong?

Could you learn to love me crazy?

Or is the question itself...

Am I already
Crazier
Than I think I am?