I've Been On This Titanic Before

"First time?"
"Hm?"
"First time on?"
"Eighth."
"Wow."
"Yeah.  I'm addicted."
"How many times have you survived?"
"Of the eight?"
"Yeah."
"None."
"None?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"I'm...I'm getting better."
"Is it the drowning?"
"Well, yeah, I mean--we all pretty much drown."
"No, I know but--"
"Eventually it's all drowning.  It's not like the World Wars."
"Oh, that simulation is too much for me.  Too overwhelming.  I can't even figure out which side I'm supposed to be on and by then somebody's already shot me in the head."
"How many times have you played this one?"
"Four times.  I died twice."
"So you've survived twice?"
"Yeah."
"That's--"
"I mean, the first time was a fluke.  Somebody knocked me into a lifeboat.  I mean, really, like, rushed into me and I fell into the lifeboat."
"What about the second time?"
"That time I was--that was intense.  I was in the engine room."
"You were in the engine room?"
"They make it harder for you once you survive once.  I can't imagine what they do to the people who survive twice.  They must make you the captain or something."
"It's the same way when you die.  It becomes easier.  This time around I'm an actual lifeboat operator.  I'll probably still end up going down with the ship."
"What do you suppose the problem is?"
"I guess it's that..."
"Yes?"
"Well, I guess, the issue would be that I always try to get as many people in the boats as possible."
"You mean before yourself?"
"More like never myself.  I always end up giving every free seat I can find away to someone else."
"But that's not the goal of the simulation."
"I know."
"The goal isn't to be some kind of hero.  It's to save yourself."
"I know, but it's so realistic."
"That's what makes it fun, but you can't think of the other people as real people."
"But they are real people.  Just like us."
"They're just players.  Everybody's playing."
"But some of them are crying and--"
"It gets to be too much for some people.  Not everybody should play.  They tried to regulate it, but of course, everybody's convinced they can handle anything."
"My sister tried the Hindenburg simulation.  She wound up in the mental ward."
"You see what I mean?"
"But it's hard to just turn your back on those people."
"With this simulation, the idea is to tell yourself that there aren't enough boats anyway.  And there aren't.  There really aren't.  So no matter how many people you manage to get in the boats, some are still going to die.  And the goal--the only goal--is for you not to die.  So, I mean, save people, sure, but ultimately, get your ass in a boat."
"I know."
"If you keep losing, they're just going to block you from the simulation.  Then you're going to be stuck doing 'Supermarket Hold-Up' or 'Traffic Accident.'"
"Maybe I'm in over my head."
"Just focus on the task at hand.  Not that I can talk, I only succeeded once."
"But from the engine room!"
"I got a boost of confidence from that first time.  You survive once, and it just...changes you.  Suddenly you're a survivor, you know?  You start to behave like one."
"It's a good thing you got knocked into that boat."
"It was some older woman.  She pushed me.  I tried helping her into the boat and instead she pushed me.  I banged my head, and when I woke up, the simulation was over."
"That was nice of her."

. . . . .

"Were you ever...in a simulation?"
"What?  An old woman?  No.  Never."
"Really?"
"Nope."
"Huh."
"But maybe this time, I'll get lucky like you did."
"Yeah.  If I recognize you, I'll try to help you out."
"Well, like you said, you just have to worry about yourself, right?"
"Well...right."
"Right."
"But if I see you--"
"I'm sure I'll get it this time."
"Just stay focused."
"I will.  I'll try."
"You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"Nine's a lucky number."
"Is it?"
"It could be."
"You're right.  You're absolutely right."