Maria Makes the Music Stop

Okay, okay, OKAY!

Listen, kids, I don't know if you've noticed
But we're climbing through mountains here

THROUGH mountains
And Maria--Mom--whatever
I'm tired

I'm exhausted

I fear for my life

You can't just walk through mountains in lederhosen
With a picnic basket full of strudel
And think that's somehow preparation
For what's basically a journey of death

But, you know, I get it
Nazis chasing us
No time to pack
We were a little too busy
Working on the choreography
For the big finale

Because SOMEBODY can't seem to remember that we wave on the one
And not on the two

...Greta

All I ask of you now
Is to please
Please
For the love of God
Stop
Singing

No more bursting into song
No more seven-part harmony
And nobody--NOBODY--had better yodel
From now until we get to America

Your father has promised me
That this far off place we're heading to
Will be filled with excitement
And culture
Theater and fashion
And the exotic lifestyle I expected
When I married a Baron

So as soon as we get to this fast-paced metropolis
Called Vermont
Then, you can go wild
And sing out
As much as you want
But until then--

No

More

Music

Music brought me to you and you to me
And me away from those sexless drones at the convent
So, of course, I have a deep appreciation for it
But right now
New Mommy just wants to avoid being killed
In an avalanche
Because one of you--Greta--felt like hearing one more chorus
Of 'So Long, Farewell'--we get it, you're leaving, goodnight!

I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TROPHY WIFE
AND NOW I'M GOING TO BE STUCK
OWNING A BED AND BREAKFAST
NEXT TO A JAM STORE!

...Kids, if there's one lesson we can take from all this

All this we're-exiled-because-Papa-can't-just-go-with-the-flow...stuff

It's this--

Sometimes--

Silence
Is Golden